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It's Great to be a Man!
Internet ^

Posted on 02/08/2002 11:16:42 AM PST by Cagey

It's Great To Be A Man

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

One mood, ALL the darn time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
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To: Trust but Verify
I second that!!
181 posted on 02/09/2002 9:19:02 AM PST by Neets
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To: OneidaM; Cyber Liberty
Why is it that I am the only person who hears the buzzer on the dryer going off? LOL!

It's going off now . . .

182 posted on 02/09/2002 9:44:40 AM PST by Slip18
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To: Slip18
What buzzer? I don't hear a buzzer....
183 posted on 02/09/2002 9:46:04 AM PST by Cyber Liberty
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To: Cagey
I can tell the cable company I don't need the lifetime channel
184 posted on 02/09/2002 10:00:07 AM PST by ditto h
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To: Savage Beast,Cagey, SeeRushtoldU_so
Savage - thank you, it is so nice to know that SOMEONE appreciates my insight.....

Now, for you other two..... I kinda like this idea of being carried....lol

Savage, Cagey and SeeRush are my husbands..... don't ask, it is a long story..... lol

185 posted on 02/09/2002 10:35:49 AM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: andysandmikesmom
I like what you wrote about your Father! I grew up in a house full of girls! No boys, and my Father died when I was young.... when my Mother finally remarried, he had 5 girls! Eight girls, plus Mom and one man...... lol

I had a daughter, then 5 years later a son. They are as opposite as humanly possible..... I will never be able to "guess" what my son will do next...he just thinks so differently than I do.....I adore him, but he definitely shows me a whole different side of life!

186 posted on 02/09/2002 11:07:55 AM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: andysandmikesmom; WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
My father died when I was young, and I was raised by a mother and older sister who had absolutely no understanding of men and boys whatsoever. When I discovered that there are women out there who understand, I felt like I had arrived in Heaven. I still feel that way. Maybe that's what Heaven is!
187 posted on 02/09/2002 12:33:53 PM PST by Savage Beast
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
My son and daughter are as different as night and day also. My daughter is more like me in temperament. My son is more like his mother, but an extreme version of her. I never understood my son--or my wife either for that matter--until I discovered something called the Enneagram. It's pop-science all right, but it certainly explained a lot to me, and made it possible for me to understand two of the three most important people in my life.
188 posted on 02/09/2002 12:38:34 PM PST by Savage Beast
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To: Savage Beast
I also liked Black Hawk Down--my wife refused to see it with me--man's flick.

That's one of the reasons my husband married me, I like men and men's things. A true masculinist at heart. That is not to say I am unfeminine.

Saw the real story on the history channel. Truely heros one and all. Too bad they were screwed by the commander in theif.

189 posted on 02/09/2002 12:45:41 PM PST by farmfriend
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To: tacticalogic
And insects and rodents do not pose a mortal threat to your very existence.

Look here for my favorite pet. My bean looks just like the Himalayan.

190 posted on 02/09/2002 12:54:46 PM PST by farmfriend
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To: farmfriend
I saw it on the history channel too. To me, BHD was an epic tale. I particularly liked it in the end, when the voice was saying, 'Tuck my children into bed. Tell them that I love them...' or something like that. And I liked 'Minstrel Boy', played during the closing credits. After being saturated with East African music and sounds and imagery, the old Irish air took on a strange sound, familiar yet disturbing, and I particularly liked the untrained voice singing it. To me, the movie was scary and reassuring, unpredictable yet familiar.
191 posted on 02/09/2002 12:59:18 PM PST by Savage Beast
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To: riley1992
You are the one who was seeing man-hating women peeking out from beneath your bed.

I agree with you. Having seen many of your posts on these kind of thread, "Man hating" does not describe you. Go get 'em sister.

192 posted on 02/09/2002 1:09:57 PM PST by farmfriend
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To: Savage Beast
I like the one guy dealing with the stress by making coffee. As long as he could make coffee, everything was normal and fine.
193 posted on 02/09/2002 1:16:33 PM PST by farmfriend
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
I am going to report you to RepubMommy for having more than one old man. Old man? Old? Aren't you 28 and Cagey 32?????

Hell, if that are around that age, I'll take them!!!

194 posted on 02/10/2002 5:22:45 AM PST by RepubMommy
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To: SeeRushToldU_So
I am going to report you to RepubMommy for having more than one old man.

I'm keeping a close eye on Texasgirl, don't worry.

195 posted on 02/10/2002 5:24:02 AM PST by RepubMommy
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
"... and Cagey 32?????"

Yes, in dog years.

196 posted on 02/10/2002 6:23:43 AM PST by Cagey
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To: Cagey, SeeRushtoldU_so
Hon, we're ALL measuring in DOG YEARS!
197 posted on 02/10/2002 6:34:16 AM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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