Don't you remember how helpful you were to our Pirate Capt'n AC?
Posted on 01/29/2002 10:45:19 AM PST by scouse
Telepathic Football Threatens Chilean Teens
VILLA SAN RAFAEL, Chile (Wireless Flash) -- Forget Bigfoot or the Mothman. The newest paranormal creature is a four-legged football.
Believe it or not, a creature matching that exact description has been sighted threatening teenagers in Villa San Rafael, Chile.
Researchers at the Calama UFO Center in Chile claim the mysterious menace has wings, a face like a large bulldog and is "shaped like a rugby football with legs."
Paranormal researcher Dr. Virgilio Sanchez-Ocejo isn't sure if the creature is one of those goat-sucking chupacabras, but admits both animals telepathically communicate with humans.
The winged football is just one of hundreds of strange creatures that have been terrorizing Chile since 1999 and Dr. Sanchez-Ocejo suspects the mysterious beings are entering Chile through a dimensional doorway.
No my dear habs my antecedents are of impeccable stock - it was only recently discovered that I was the rightful heir to small Province in Spain. It is a long story but know you that I was, by my rivals to the estates, left with the good Sisters of Mercy on the convent steps. I have fought the good fight on equal terms with the less fortunate and now I have been restored to my rightful place with the bon ton European aristocracy
Not so ma enfant cheri, young habs has seen the light and will henceforth be moving in different milieu than heretofore. He will be groomed by the most excellent of roués, the good Count AC to gain affiance of, and pay court to, the nubile debutantes, or at least their dear mamas.
Habs intends to improve his fortunes by discarding the bourgeois thinking of his former self, and under my careful and skillfull tutorage he will soon acquire the skills of a chevalier. For our gallant habs I have discovered is a man of parts. He already knows a smattering of French.
Isn't that a Motto or something? I think it might be connected to free sex, which is always prevalent at these byob parties.... Where have I heard it before????? Help me out here....
Don't you remember how helpful you were to our Pirate Capt'n AC?
Look at this
To: palo verde, grannie9
if only ac guy were a bit more continental
Mon cherie Palo, Madame, the Baron tells me that the Baroness is indisposed and regrets they are unable to accept our invitation join us in our personal box at the Teatro de la Opera for a performance of the ballet "Don Quijote," tomorrow evening. Our invitation to the Baron was a social obligation, which we have now fully discharged.
In light of this most fortunate development, our first thoughts were, could we hope to persuade our cher Palo, accompanied of course, by our very dear friend the discrete and noble Grand Dame IX, to favour us with theirgracious presence by accepting our churlish invitation. We realize of course Madame, that we are putting you to a great inconvenience by requiring you to rearrange your colander calendar, on such short notice, to satisfy our impetuous desires.
Believe me Madame we would never have countenance such an audacious assaultupon good manners had we not observed a certain mutual attraction between us. We assure you Madame, that your kindness will not go un-rewarded. We have a little ruby trinket, which has been in our family for several hundred years, to match your red shoes, which we pray you will wear. Naturally, we have a bagatelle for the good Madame GD IX.
Incidentally, the Duke and Duchess of Alba will be in attendance and we selfishly, wish to have all eyes to be upon the beauty in the loge of your humble servant and most devoted chevalier.
I await your gracious acceptance.
Your friend and admirer,
Le Conte AC de BC
160 posted on 9/11/01 5:43 AM Eastern by acnielsen guy
To: acnielsen guy
Jeeze AC, (indrustriously chewing gum in right cheek) do I half ta like get dressed up fancy for this thingy, or what? I got a nice pair a rhinestone earrings (chew, chew) and a nice lookin tarrarra type thing for my hair, (chew,chew) but I don't know if my red taffeeeta dress will be ok (chew, chew) for this clambake. I'm kind out in the woods, (chew) about these fancy, schmancy (chew, chew)deals. Ya know what I mean?
Am I gonna have time to run to Walmart (chew) ta pick up some (chew, chew)necissaries? You'd better write back (chew) with some more of tha skinny on what (chew)this whole deals about. yaknowwhatimean?
161 posted on 9/11/01 6:06 AM Eastern by grannie9
To: grannie9
I can't answer you grannie I'm snorting with laughter my eyes are teary and in general I'm a mess. - Don't do that to me:)) Now I'm straightening up. Now I'm collapsing with laughter again. Ahem! Just wear your tarrarra type thingy for your hair but wear a long black veil so you can sleep through the entire show and no one will notice. BTW don't wear the same boots you wore to dog races.
Confidentially, grannie we are going to slip you a little something to get lost after the shindig - kapeeech.
Hey! palo wanted continental. I wonder if I could use this line in tbe Bar & Grill. Laughing again your reply is a keeper. Bookmark here it comes.
162 posted on 9/11/01 6:32 AM Eastern by acnielsen guy
To: grannie9
Oh! This is important DO NOT bring your Depends in a string bag.
163 posted on 9/11/01 6:42 AM Eastern by acnielsen guy
To: acnielsen guy
Hey, ah AC..Count DE Dork or whatever...what da ya mean ya slippin me sumpin,(chew, chew)? Ya slippin me a mickey or sumpin? Ya tryin ta get rid a me or somepin? (chew,chew) I don't do mickeys (chew).
Hey, I been known ta do Johnies (chew chew) ha, a few Tonys, yanowhatimean,but no mickeys. (chew) I don't DO mickeys...so lay off there big guy. (chew,spit)
Ya evidentchary don't know da first ting about how ta treat a reallady...(chew chew)
164 posted on 9/11/01 6:44 AM Eastern by grannie9
To: grannie9
I tink I'd betta call da big guy Pers, (chew chew) and his worka's Guido and all. (chew) Get a background check done on da Duke, Count da Dork.. (chew chew)
Sumpin's startin ta stink around he'r and it ain't da sucka fish. (chew,spit)
165 posted on 9/11/01 6:56 AM Eastern by grannie9
To: grannie9
Ya evidentchary don't know da first ting about how ta treat a real lady...(chew chew)
I'm getting a crash course.
The sumpin' I'm gonna slip you my dearest hag is moolah, dinero, bucks. so you can treat yourself to all those other thingys you mentioned.
PS. You will remember wear your teeth won't you?
166 posted on 9/11/01 6:59 AM Eastern by acnielsen guy
To: acnielsen guy
What teedth? I gotta buy teedth now? What da heck, (chew) dis ting is startin ta be a hassil, (chew) yanowhatimean?
Tarrarra sumpins, now teedth? (chew chew) I tink I'll call dis whole fan-danga stuff off. I don't tink it's my bag (chew chew)yanowhatimean, Count De Dork, (chew)?
168 posted on 9/11/01 7:07 AM Eastern by grannie9
To: grannie9
Grannie my dear, fairest of the ugly sisters, chef to witches on the blasted heath, friend of all vermin. Your blue blooded benefactor has impeccable credentials. There is not need to call your ambulance chaser boyfriend and or his Igor.
This is a simple transaction, my imbecilic sweetheart. Act like the three monkey and fill you greasy pocket with geld of the realm.
Please don't spit on my shoes.
169 posted on 9/11/01 7:10 AM Eastern by acnielsen guy
To: Palo
Dear Palo, I regret to inform you that the Conte AC de DC quietly went to his reward. He apparently choaked himself.
See if you can sell the other ticket.
170 posted on 9/11/01 7:17 AM Eastern by acnielsen guy
To: acnielsen guy
I dunna no..ol Dukey baby. (chew chew) Ya no, da money and da gratutatarys don't sound to tough, butcha askin a lot of a ol dame he'r. (chew)
I gotsta find me some nu chompa's, sumpin to carry my Dependables in (chew chew), and keepa eye on my backdoor, yanowhatimean? (chew spit)
Ah,.. sorry dare big guy, (chew) fagutta boutda shoes... yanowhatimean?
171 posted on 9/11/01 7:21 AM Eastern by grannie9
To: grannie9
If you don't stop I'm going to come back and haunt you. Have mercy on poor demented AC.
172 posted on 9/11/01 7:37 AM Eastern by acnielsen guy
To: acnielsen guy
Sorry big guy... but put the blame on you. lol I was just trying to go with the flo,.... yaknowhatimean? I think you bring out the (almost) very worst in me....
.
173 posted on 9/11/01 7:42 AM Eastern by grannie9
To: grannie9
Grannie - What talent you have. I'm helpless with laughter, now I've go straighen up and go for lunch.
See you later grannie got to buy some cheese. Ifyaknowadimean
174 posted on 9/11/01 7:53 AM Eastern by acnielsen guy
"Tanks" for the good memories..even if it turned out to be a horrible day... smoooch
Palo, hello honey... this is just a test...
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