Sue for full custody. If you don't think you can handle that, sue for joint custody (50%/50%).
Nobody pays anybody anything. You make an agreement of how to split major expenses such as medical, dental, orthadontia, and school clothes, supplies, and tuition. There is an agreement about who declares the child on their income tax. Sometimes this means you declare the child in alternate years. Of course you have to live near your ex souse -- probably in the same school district for this to work. And you have to remain on civil terms.
I have several friends who have come to this arrangement. The difference between their situations and mine? In their divorces both parties were mature enough to put the child first. My wife failed Maturity 101.
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