1. SportsCenter starts at 10:00 PM and runs an hour. This is a great time to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer or talk to your sister.
2. Two hot dogs and a beer at a baseball game do, in fact, constitute going out to dinner.
3. Unlike you, we essentially want to dress just exactly like all our friends. Thus, you need not go much further than the Gap, J. Crew or the local Patagonia store.
4. If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
5. Butthead is the smart one.
6. Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?
7. You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.
8. Silence does not need to be filled with discussions about "us" and "the relationship."
9. Things you can help with: the Sunday crossword, yard work, the dishes, cleaning, and grocery shopping.
10. Things you should let us do alone: figuring out where we are, watching anything on TBS, playing cards, smoking cigars and picking out the beer.
11. Socks never constitute a gift.
12. Department stores and malls were designed so that when you want to look at bed linen, shower curtains or handbags, there are always some speakers, tires or sporting equipment nearby.
13. We don't know anything about handbags. Don't even ask. 14. We did water the plants. They died anyway. Nobody knows why this happens.
15. Even if you think he's cute, Kevin Costner can't act.
16. Of course, neither can Elle McPherson, but she had the good sense to do "Sirens" rather than "Waterworld."
17. Curley is the bald one.
18. Compromise does not mean that we abandon our position in favor of yours.
19. Sports Illustrated is a better magazine than Cosmopolitan. Just accept that.
20. Its in neither your interest nor ours to take the Quiz together.
21. Unless you are willing to follow the careers of Mo Vaughn, Cal Ripken, David Robinson, Michael Jordan, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chris Farley, don't expect us to know what Helen Gurley Brown, Hilary Clinton, Naomi Wolf or your mother are up to.
22. Sex on a weeknight is generally welcome. Three hours of post-coital conversation are not.
23. Dinner out is a pretty good birthday present. Two tickets to a ball game are even better.
24. No, you can't have the remote control.
25. If you must take us with you into Victoria's Secret, never, ever leave us alone. All the old fat ladies make mean faces at us and only add to our discomfort
The only problem, that he mentioned, was that he didn't know that her real first name was Always.
This almost makes me wish I was single again so I could have all the men to myself!
I guess I must be strange- I absolutely adore men and being in their company. I love their strength, their masculinity, their (most of the time) raunchy sense of humor, and the way they treat me tells me they like being in my company too!
I personally think the problem is that too many women have bought into the huge lie that is feminism. The only thing that has perhaps done more to poison the relations between men and women is the sexual revolution- that other terrible lie that women bought that made women believe that there is no difference between men and women when it comes to dating and commitments, and the way we view marriage and love.
Women were led to believe that they could be just like men in the bedroom department, acted on that belief, and were shocked and stunned at the results. To put it in a nutshell, women, for the last thirty years or so, have tried to surpress their nature, tried to be like men, then have emerged bitter and hateful that men finally said okay, if you insist on being direspected, we will accomodate you.
Anyway, that's how I see it. I love being female in a world full of men. Men have always been my friends, my protectors, my advisors (that awesome clear-headed thinking, you know!) my wonderful opposite. So many men, so little time!
Okay, ladies, flame away!