Posted on 01/20/2002 4:53:24 AM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ....WHO UNDERSTANDS MEN?
Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's a womans job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
That`s me!!!
American men like me, European men like me. I can be aggressive, shy, demure, whatever the occasion calls for. I negotiate in the Boardroom effectively, but as a team player. I'm a great cook, conversationalist, and friend.
Hate disappointing you. Rrriiigghhtt. How do YOU spell gorilla?
Sweetheart, intelligent people do not call attention to their intelligence. And articulate people dont articulate their articulatness. Genuine people dont do what the fickle occasion "calls for", they always do what is the right thing to do given the circumstances.
Dear one, I have been to Horseheads, Painted Post and Big Flats ... dont play the cosmopolitan card with me. That card is emblematic of the junk thinking even purportedly conservative women have today.
No one, it seems, ever wants to admit she is wrong. So she resorts to witless formulations ... like men being parking places. Witlessness is the thing conservatives are trying to point out about the position liberals take.
It is disappointing that so many women who call themselves conservative, are tethered to the junk thinking of modernity. We, none of us, are gods. The Clintons are "gods." Government is "god." Middle eastern trips are gods.
Darling, only you are a god. And that makes me think, you are not so good in bed, despite your love of sex, because good sex involves an understanding of others far different from the phony omniscience of goddesses.
OMG! this is too perfect.
You put two unnecessary words in that question.
Shalom.
If I had to guess, if he made a move he would no longer be a nice man - he would only be interested in sex.
Shalom.
I know someone like this.
Funny, I don't remember meeting you.
1. SportsCenter starts at 10:00 PM and runs an hour. This is a great time to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer or talk to your sister.
2. Two hot dogs and a beer at a baseball game do, in fact, constitute going out to dinner.
3. Unlike you, we essentially want to dress just exactly like all our friends. Thus, you need not go much further than the Gap, J. Crew or the local Patagonia store.
4. If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
5. Butthead is the smart one.
6. Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?
7. You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.
8. Silence does not need to be filled with discussions about "us" and "the relationship."
9. Things you can help with: the Sunday crossword, yard work, the dishes, cleaning, and grocery shopping.
10. Things you should let us do alone: figuring out where we are, watching anything on TBS, playing cards, smoking cigars and picking out the beer.
11. Socks never constitute a gift.
12. Department stores and malls were designed so that when you want to look at bed linen, shower curtains or handbags, there are always some speakers, tires or sporting equipment nearby.
13. We don't know anything about handbags. Don't even ask. 14. We did water the plants. They died anyway. Nobody knows why this happens.
15. Even if you think he's cute, Kevin Costner can't act.
16. Of course, neither can Elle McPherson, but she had the good sense to do "Sirens" rather than "Waterworld."
17. Curley is the bald one.
18. Compromise does not mean that we abandon our position in favor of yours.
19. Sports Illustrated is a better magazine than Cosmopolitan. Just accept that.
20. Its in neither your interest nor ours to take the Quiz together.
21. Unless you are willing to follow the careers of Mo Vaughn, Cal Ripken, David Robinson, Michael Jordan, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chris Farley, don't expect us to know what Helen Gurley Brown, Hilary Clinton, Naomi Wolf or your mother are up to.
22. Sex on a weeknight is generally welcome. Three hours of post-coital conversation are not.
23. Dinner out is a pretty good birthday present. Two tickets to a ball game are even better.
24. No, you can't have the remote control.
25. If you must take us with you into Victoria's Secret, never, ever leave us alone. All the old fat ladies make mean faces at us and only add to our discomfort
Apparently my self-depracating sense of humor didn't come through that last message ......;)
Apparently my self-depracating sense of humor didn't come through that last message ......;)
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