[Dr. Good Will Hunting]

Isn't there an "illuminate your darkened soul" bit that gets added to that?

[Brian Kopp DPM]

There are degrees of charitable slaps...some get the harsher charitable slap, i.e. "Thank you for sharing your own personal opinion. May God Bless you abundantly, illuminate your darkened intellect, and have mercy on your soul."

Some only get the "Thank you for sharing your own personal opinion. May God Bless you abundantly" if I'm charitably giving them the benefit of the doubt. I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Charitably, of course.

When I'm not in a charitable mood, you will be able to tell by my standard uncharitable slap:

An Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB) is a type of headwear that can shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind-control carriers. AFDBs are inexpensive (even free if you don't mind scrounging for thrown-out aluminium foil) and can be constructed by anyone with at least the dexterity of a chimp (maybe bonobo). This cheap and unobtrusive form of mind-control protection offers real security to the masses. Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly secret. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable.

What are you waiting for? Make one today!

Quick Instructions For Building An AFDB

	1) Get a five foot sheet of aluminum foil (standard one foot wide Reynolds Wrap brand will do nicely.)
	2) Fold the sheet four times into five equal segments so that you end up with a 1x1 foot square, making sure that you fold over the dull side of the foil leaving the square shiny on both sides.
	3) Use scissors to cut from one corner of the square to the center, making a straight line.
	4) Bend the foil from one side of the cut under the other, making a slight cone. Again, make sure that the outside of the cone has a shiny side of the foil; this is VERY important.
	5) Place the cone on your head and squash the top and sides to make it fit snugly.
	6) Apply Scotch tape liberally making sure to secure the cut in the foil and any form-fitting creases made in step 5.
	7) Use more tape to secure AFDB to your cranium.