Posted on 11/27/2001 1:14:12 PM PST by notyourregularhandle
SEATTLE - Maybe it's time to just round up all the smokers.
We can send authorities out to rip little babies from the arms of those Marlboro smokin' moms. Dads can stoically drag on a Lucky Strike as their kids watch them being hauled away.
Why not? Smokers are all pariahs; a blight on society whose only value is the ever-increasing tax revenue they provide by their pitiful purchases of packs and cartons of tobacco.
With passage of Initiative 773, that tax revenue takes a big bump up. Maybe.
I-773 adds another .60 cents in tax to each and every pack of cigarettes. On Jan. 1, that'll total out to $1.43 tax per pack.
Now, while smokers may be pariahs, they're not stupid. They can get a better deal at tribal smokeshops. They can order tax-free cigarettes over the Internet. Of course, it's illegal to do that.
Which has redrawn the attention of state authorities and state economists. With dollar signs lighting up their eyes, state folks are trying to figure out how to trap those swindling smokers.
'Cause if they can catch 'em, then they can fine them.
Oooooh, MORE revenue!
Who should be next? Tax cheaters who buy expensive clothes and stereos online, slicing the state out of the take?
How about we frisk grandma as she comes back from Oregon with a couple of untaxed bottles of peppermint schnapps in her purse?
Forget it. That's a bad idea. See, they're "good" citizens.
Smokers? They're easy targets. Who'd speak out for someone dumb enough to be sucking addictive, unhealthy crap into their lungs? Tax 'em with impunity!
By the way, time to fess up here. I smoke.
So, who knows. Maybe someday you can round us all up; snatch the babies from our arms; send us off to where we'll never be heard from again (once the tax coffers are filled).
Then? Well, then you can go after those red meat eaters!
Not so fast there; don't get your hopes up. The city council in Honolulu (Now that Japanese visitor traffic is down nearly 50%) Is considering driving a stake through the heart of the states only real industry, tourism, by instituting a smoking ban like the one in force in California. The sponsoring councilman, strangely enough Duke Bainum from Waikiki, is running for mayor too.
I spend money on smokes there, out of a sense of obligation, to make reparations for the atrocities commited against Native Americans by our forebears.
Just like X-42 said.
See, I've learned to turn the stupidity of "enlightend liberal" thinking to serve my own purposes.
(I also convinced my girlfriend that it is inhumane to kill poor defenseless animals, just to make a fur coat for her to wear. Now I need one to cover gemstones. Maybe something about the poor, exploited, third-world, diamond mine workers. Too bad that South African boycott ended. )
So were miners; odd, isn't it?
It's too crowded around here, anyway.
Yeah what happened?
I like it! ;)
You just called me an "ADDCITED SICKO...AND A NAZI?"
AM I UNDERSTANDING THIS RIGHT?
If so, you're a very very confused person...
Nope. He's just jonesing for a smoke! lol
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