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1 posted on 11/27/2001 9:36:43 AM PST by hobblemaster
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To: hobblemaster
In our house, Santa is allowed diplomatic immunity in the 6-foot area around the fireplace.
2 posted on 11/27/2001 9:40:35 AM PST by Jack Wilson
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To: hobblemaster
The beard makes me a little nervous. It reminds me of Al Gore.
3 posted on 11/27/2001 9:44:17 AM PST by San Jacinto
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To: hobblemaster
He also dispenses mystery packages
4 posted on 11/27/2001 9:46:35 AM PST by freedomlover
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To: hobblemaster
I say we put an F-16 up his ass. He never brought me nothing anyway.
5 posted on 11/27/2001 9:47:52 AM PST by SamAdams76
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To: hobblemaster
Could it be more obvious? I mean, the guy's wearing a red suit...and "what's in that pipe that he's smoking?" (apologies to Tom Lehrer...)
10 posted on 11/27/2001 9:58:27 AM PST by Billthedrill
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To: hobblemaster
Santa can end these rumors if he gives Osama a lump of coal for Christmas, on fire!!
12 posted on 11/27/2001 10:01:04 AM PST by pulaskibush
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To: hobblemaster
MINOT, ND 25 DEC 2001 (AP) Crowds of local citizens were held back from an apparent aircraft crash site on this Christmas morning. The presence of Federal Officials, in full battle gear, who are refusing to answer any questions regarding the crash, have led to speculation that an F16 aircraft shot down what can only be described as an UFO. Eyewitnesses to the incident described the UFO as "looking like an old time sleigh", and "It was Santa Claus, and they blew him up". Sven Gustafson, a long time resident, stated that "He couldn't believe what he was seeing" Mr Gustafson had gone outside upon hearing what appeared to be sleigh bells, and saw a vision that he had only imagined he would ever see since his childhood. "I saw Santa, said Mr Gustafson, with his sleigh, his reindeer and everything, they were flying, then I saw the whole thing ripped apart, followed by a sound like a loud buzzer, then I saw an aircraft pass over at low altitude. They blew him right out of the sky"

Federal officials cannot be reached for comment, and the security around the crash site is extraordinarily high. Residents have reported that they were fired upon by black-clad troops when they attempted to get near the site of the downed aircraft.

If confirmed, this would be the first combat action by US forces against airspace violators, since the statement by the Government following the events of Sept 11, that potentially hostile aircraft, such as those hijacked by terrorists, would be shot down if it was determined in the best interest of national security. -END-

Keep the Faith for Freedom

MAY GOD BLESS AND PROTECT THIS HONORABLE REPUBLIC

Greg

13 posted on 11/27/2001 10:01:10 AM PST by gwmoore
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To: hobblemaster
I wouldn't be worryin' about that dude if I was u.


14 posted on 11/27/2001 10:13:06 AM PST by Ouachita
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To: hobblemaster
We're gonna sing you this Christmas carol. It's for all you bastards out there in the audience tonight. It's called "The Pause of Mr. Claus".

Why do you sit there so strange?
Is it because you are beautiful?
You must think you are deranged
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?

You must think Santa Clause weird
He has long hair and a beard
Giving his presents for free
Why do police guys mess with peace guys?

Let's get Santa Clause 'cause;
Santa Clause has a red suit
He's a communist
And a beard, and long hair
Must be a pacifist
What's in the pipe that he's smoking?

Mister Clause sneaks in your home at night.
He must be a dope fiend, to put you up tight
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?

©1968,1969 Appleseed Music Inc. (ASCAP)

From Arlo Guthrie

15 posted on 11/27/2001 10:13:55 AM PST by steve in DC
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To: hobblemaster
Please, please. Mr. Claus has already passed his background check. NORAD will again be monitoring his flight path this year, and he will receive a fighter escort to boot. Save your wrath for the enemy, not dear Santa.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/572644/posts

16 posted on 11/27/2001 10:33:48 AM PST by Samwise
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To: hobblemaster
I know Santa and He's Not a terrorist!
17 posted on 11/27/2001 10:39:45 AM PST by Fiddlstix
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To: hobblemaster
What about Dorothy? Was she a terrorist?

At the first sign of a natural disaster, Dorothy flees the people who have raised her, letting them die in a hole in the ground, taking with her their only real shelter containing all their property, but not without first letting all their animals out of the barn.

She flies into foreign airspace in an unsafe aircraft, lands without a permit, and kills the leader of the land. All the while, she plays dumb and takes no responsibility for her actions. She steals the property of the woman she killed, denying their rightful owner -- the deceased's next of kin -- of the property.

She brings a live animal into the Land of Oz without regard to health restrictions, without a permit, and without making an effort to quarantine the animal. This is an animal that was already ordered to be destroyed by the legal authority in its country of origin.

Dorothy says she's from Kansas but has no documentation to back it up. When asked by the Munchkins to explain herself, she gives them a song and dance about a witch. In fact, whenever she is challenged during her visit to this country, she always seems to go into a song and dance routine.

She immediately befriends some misfits and social outcasts -- using flattery to conscript them into her service as her protectors, slaves and allies -- and makes promises to them on behalf of a man she has never met. She takes them with her on her travels through the country to reach the Emerald City.

On the way there, Dorothy poaches food and firewood from neighboring farms and camps on private property. She encourages her friends to do the same.

She enters Emerald City and gains an audience with its leader on false pretenses, displaying the stolen shoes as her own property and using them as a passport, a kind of identify theft. She puts the innocent people of Emerald City in jeopardy by attracting the witch to the city and causing panic among its citizens.

While the city panics, she and her friends take full advantage of the local beauty salon and livery cab without a moment's thought of making payment for services.

All the while, the only thing she ever does is cry, think about herself and whine that she wants to go home.

She agrees to become a hired assassin, doing the dirty work of a politician. She does this for purely selfish purposes and with no regard to the witch's rights or due process of law.

She enters the witch's property illegally by having her thugs kill the witch's security agents and steal their uniforms. She then kills the witch and claims it was an accident, even though all along it was her stated intention to hunt and kill her.

She steals property -- a broom -- from the estate of her victim as a souvenir of her crime and brings it back to the man who hired her as a killer.

Upon visiting the wizard the second time, Dorothy loses control of her unlicensed pet and enters a restricted area in the wizard's quarters.

When she discovers this leader to be a fraud, she does nothing to notify the residents of Emerald City, but becomes an accomplice in his fraud and plays along with his scheme, helping him to escape justice, and installing one of her own friends as a puppet dictator -- a man with no brain and with educational credentials fabricated by the phony wizard. This "tin man" dictator is supported by a toothless coward and a stuffed shirt.

As the first opportunity to escape, Dorothy does so, abandoning her friends and disappearing without a trace.

19 posted on 11/27/2001 11:24:04 AM PST by Silly
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To: hobblemaster; Ouachita


20 posted on 11/27/2001 12:09:20 PM PST by knighthawk
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To: hobblemaster

"Kensington Town Council: Your uninvited guests have arrived. We have just come from church and are mad as h*ll - we mean heck - :-) and we're not gonna let you commit cultural tyranny upon our families anymore."

The battle begins 3:30 p.m. upon the 2nd of December in the Year of Our Lord 2001. Join us! - All FReepers welcome!!

Details here:
"Operation Infinite FReep - TRT commandos/FReeper militia to raid Kensington anti-Santa ceremony 12/2"
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/580536/posts

Onward Fellow FReepers. ;-)

23 posted on 11/29/2001 3:25:08 PM PST by Hail Caesar
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To: hobblemaster
santa came from Turkey maybe he is conect with the al-qauda
26 posted on 11/30/2001 4:41:04 AM PST by RMrattlesnake
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To: hobblemaster
Naw, we don't have to worry about him. He's not from the Middle East. He's North Polish!
32 posted on 11/30/2001 7:41:57 AM PST by Marysecretary
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To: hobblemaster
Santa smokes a crack pipe and says alot of "HOes". He's a pimp, not a terrorist...
38 posted on 11/30/2001 9:03:28 AM PST by stainlessbanner
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