Ahhh! You've been listening to the men, who always start their exegesis with Ephesians 5:22. Read 5:21 and remember that the paragraph and verse markers came later and are not part of Scripture.
With regards to submission, that doesn't mean putting your will aside and doing his will. It means making your will conform to his so that his will and your will are the same. This is a much harder task. Remembering that the husband and wife are a type of our relationship to Christ, it makes the Christian walk much more rewarding. If you say to yourself, "Well, I want to have premarital sex but I won't because Jesus doesn't want me to," resentment will build and you will likely rebel and do the thing you "don't want to do." But when you reach the point where you don't want to have premarital sex like Jesus doesn't want you to, because you believe it is wrong just as He believes it is wrong, you wont resent what He isn't allowing you to do and you won't rebel.
In the same way, your husband might finally decide to move and you "submit" by saying, "I really don't want to move, but because you say so I will move." That can create a rift that only a miracle can heal. But if the two of you become of one mind there is no rift and no need to heal.
In our home, if there is no unity, there is no decision. There is no final authority but Jesus. When my wife and I disagree, I wait until He has had his chance to straighten one of us out.
It's usually me, but that's another story.
Shalom.
My husband and I are probably in agreement 99% of the time. However, since I haven't become a clone of him, nor him of me, there have been a few occasions of disagreement. I, personally, see this as healthy.
"......there is no decision." This sounds nice hypothetically, but, in fact, makes no sense. Sometimes, "no" decision IS a decision. :) (Take the job transfer hypothetical.....)
"In the same way, your husband might finally decide to move and you "submit" by saying, "I really don't want to move, but because you say so I will move." That can create a rift that only a miracle can heal. But if the two of you become of one mind there is no rift and no need to heal."
And I suggest that it is quite possible to find God's peace in a decision made by my husband. After all, he was put there by God. I'm glad my happiness does not depend on my husband and I thinking and walking in lockstep 100% of the time. We have two different personalities, and he thinks like a man, and I think like a woman. I thank God that our 25 years of marital happiness hasn't depended on our thinking exactly alike.
Viva la differences!
There's only one problem with this. Premarital sex has clear moral ramifications. It's a sin. Taking a job transfer "can" be a morally neutral decision over which two people disagree about what is best for the family.
If one person is holding to his decision for purely personal and selfish reasons, then I would say that does have moral ramifications. However, not every decision in life is a black and white, moral decision.
Not at all.
Now.....about that exegesis. Let's begin with "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Actually, let's begin before then. Paul writes at length about how we are to act as "the body of Christ". No falsehoods, no slander, not to sin in our anger, no unwholesome speech. Be imitators of God, no sexual immorality, no course joking, don't be foolish, don't get drunk...."Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,.....in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Here this demand to submit to one another is surely speaking to the church body at large. Paul just spent quite a bit of time, basically, exhorting everyone to "get along and put others first. These are general admonitions to the church. They are not a blueprint for church or family structure.
Then, Paul begins to speak specifically to different relationships within the church body.
"Wives submit to your husband, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church."
Although there are several passages in scripture that speak to the unique husband/wife relationship, this one is exceedingly clear. Christ is the head of the church. Period. Right? Then husbands are the head of their wives, since he uses the Christ/head of church analogy.
Again, Colossians makes this point clear.
I urge you to read the journal articles at the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
God has created a beautiful complimentary relationship between man and woman where we find our utmost freedom in Christ to become as he intended.