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So, like I wuz sayin', ma'am, I'm justa Hillbilly from West Virginny, strummin' a borrowed GEE-tar, my own personal harmonica, an Irish Fife, and a Korg D-8 portable mixing board...oh, and a HP MacroComputer that can calculate Nuclear Test Info faster than the BaddA$$ed computers Clinton spirited away to his ButtBuddy ZiangZemin!!

And the barber said, "What?! You want it to look like what?! SHEEEESH, MUD, yer goin' over that line NOW!!"

I said, "Gomer, if you don't quit givin' me yer dad-blurned advice and shave my head, I'm gonna whup yer butt and make you call me YER DADDY!!"

So he said to come back today at 4:00 EST to do the honors!!

I always said--fer the sake of my most-awesomely-kewel brothers, Brutus and Coach Tommy Amaker--BALD is BEAUTIFUL!!

And, DAGNABBIT, if 21 days without eatin' is good enuff fer Mahatmah, it's good enuff fer me...MUD

And that--my FRiends--is how the Sheeple first learned of Mudboy's "Fast Fer Justice"(TM) and the resultant INDICTMENT of the Vile and Oily SlickTerryMacKKK...AG Ashcroft, it's time fer you to $#!+ or get off the $#!++er and let somebody else have a whack!!! If you can't muster the Righteous Furor to Nail Terry McAuliffe with Each and Every TREASON, Bribery, and Campaign Finace Abuse as there ever wuz, well, then, Mr. Ashcroft, you oughtta just mosey on down the road and hang out with them LooneyLib'rals, cuz us men gotta job to do...

RE-IMPEACH. CONVICT. DETHRONE.
DISBAR. DE-PENSION. DE-LEGITIMIZE.
INDICT. CONVICT. IMPRISON. DISCARD KEY.

SlixMYb!+c#, and he will drop wherever I deem proper...but I believe Life in Prison is the Proper Punishment fer the EX-RAPIST-IN-CHIEF...let him get a li'l taste of his own medicine down in one of them South Texas Federal Penitentaries...Big Ol' CellMate who fancies himself as the re-incarnation of Don Ho, says, "Howdy, EX-Prez, my name's "Bubba" and you gonna be my Beach 'til the day you pass on to the hereafter...you good with that?!"

Let Slick Willie talk himself outta that jam...MUD