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I'm sure this doesn't apply to you, but it brought to mind the idea that some women think that is all there is to it. So many very outwardly attractive women are brokenhearted when their husband cheats on them or looks at porn, or stares at scantily clad joggers as he drives by, when she is a feast for the eyes herself. And that isn't even speaking to the majority of women who are actually pretty ordinary or even un-pretty looking. They crave the same things these buxom babes do, and yet men by eating "dessert" with their eyes continually, don't have anything meaningful left for them. They are left feeling like they can never measure up.

My husband says I'm beautiful... but for a long time I felt insecure because-- yeah, he thought it was ok like most guys, to indulge those eyes. (And I never knew about it, but I still felt the effects on his attitude.) In the past year or so we have been working on this, and he finally realizes how it cheats me and hurts me deeply, and I have never felt more secure and loved than I do now. There are benefits, guys, to making sure your wife feels secure and loved and as if she is the only beautiful woman in the world to you. GET IT??? ;-)

Don't get me wrong, my husband is not a sleazy guy... he's just normal in that, and learning to get over it. heh. He's a gem in everything else though. Well, he's a little airheaded... but...

I have it on good information that Slip's husband thinks she the most beautiful girl in the whole world.

My husband says I'm beautiful... but for a long time I felt insecure because-- yeah, he thought it was ok like most guys, to indulge those eyes. (And I never knew about it, but I still felt the effects on his attitude.) In the past year or so we have been working on this, and he finally realizes how it cheats me and hurts me deeply, and I have never felt more secure and loved than I do now.

Nothing personal, but it sounds to me as if you merely transferred, to your husband, the inadequacies you felt about your own attractiveness. In other words, you made your problem his problem by focusing on his behavior (quite natural, by the way) rather than your reaction to it.
He happens to look at another woman and you feel cheated? Good God, Terriergal, unless your husband's eyes were popping out of his skull like a Tex Avery cartoon every time a dolled-up tart walked down the street, you've set the "cheating" bar pretty damn low. Unrealistically low.