Replies

You can charge a $5 a day consultant’s fee, you can come out here and handle the armed crackpot all by yourself.
No thanks Fred, I'll keep the job at the lumber yard putting rubbers on the termites so they can >>ahem<< screw up the wood.

Send me your phone number and I’ll program it right into my phone, right next to 911.
Fred, if you live out in the boonies I suggest you arm and defend your own damn self. The deputies, or I, would only find your carcass if your life were truly threatened.
If you think that having an emergency number on your phone will save you, then send me where your pre-paid burial will be and I'll send flowers. 'Cause IF someone were to be so intent on taking your life a phone call would not save you.

I’ll call the governor and advise him to call you in on the case.
I'll tell him to follow your advice and call 911 if he calls...okay? Of course, he might get a quicker response time than you or I!

Fred, if you live out in the boonies I suggest you arm and defend your own damn self.

I’m old enough and mature enough to understand the situation completely.