My own father, retired Military man and the rock of gibralter, had a massive stroke that destroyed most of his brain. The ability to talk, walk, read, write and use the bathroom were gone in one split second. There was no way we could care for him, but he had the resources to provide him with a private care facility, where he now resides. The old rascal is still able to get his point across, tho. Has many friends and the really strange part is that he is quite content to be where he is.
The only thing that keeps us kids going, is that we KNOW our Father would have never wanted us to change him, bath him, feed him, etc. We KNOW he was a proud man, a self-made man and he has his dignity.
You have to think about what your Father, the one you knew, would have wanted. And I don't think he would have wanted your Mother OR you kids to carry this tremendous care giving every single hour of your lives.
Don't be so hard on yourself. The Father you once knew isn't there anymore, but the love is.
sw
I want to thank you all for your comments and prayers. It's another day and life will go on, and someone is tying up my Mom's phone lineIcan'tcallherrightnow!!!