Posted on 10/19/2001 3:21:14 PM PDT by Sir Gawain
On and off, during the past three years, I've urged you to pack up and scram, before it becomes impossible to get an "essential travel" permit from your local Homeland Defense Committee and Draft Board.
You still have time, I suppose, to diddle and fret a while longer — but soon enough, the common sense imperative of saving your own skin (and those belonging to your libertarian loved ones) will inspire personal mobilization. Here's a list of destinations that I recommend:
Why not? — I live here, along with several thousand other American expats, Canadians, Brits, Australians, Russians, Germans, Swiss, and one or two Dutchmen to keep the party atmosphere cordial. You can enter as a tourist, no questions asked, stay three months legally and get renewed indefinitely by spending a few days in Nicarugua or Belize every quarter. Cost of living is reasonable: new 3BR 2B home near the beach $60,000, pack of Marlboro $1, tenderloin steak dinner $6. Daily direct flights to San Jose (the capital city) from Los Angeles, Miami, Houston, and Atlanta. Costa Rica is the closest you can get to a peaceful anarchy. No army, few policemen, much jungle.
If you're European in spirit, tired of the rat race, and financially well-heeled, Luxembourg is wonderful. City is a fortress built on two sides of a gorge. You can tour the rest of Luxembourg (manicured forests and mountains) in a few hours, because it's one of the smallest countries on Earth. Americans are sincerely welcome. Patton is buried here. Fairly easy to get residency if you have a sizable chunk of money and want to operate a business. Stop in and visit KPMG Peat Marwick for advice. Taxi drivers mostly speak French.
For absolute peace and quiet, on a shoestring budget, check out Price, Utah. Mormon church is everywhere but slightly less prominent in this astoundingly beautiful, rugged patch of the Rockies. It looks a lot like Mars. Historical site of Butch Cassidy and other outlaws, dinosaur bones, Indian cave-dwellers. Very cheap prices, intelligent atmosphere. You have to be prepared to live a quiet life, keeping mostly to yourself, in the Old West tradition.
I could write a book about this harsh but lovable terrain. Snow, duststorms, baking hot, dry desert, majestic mountains, and endless cocktails. On a clear night in Virginia City you can see the entire Milky Way (elevation 6,200 ft). It takes a month or two to adjust, if you're coming from California. Gays have formed an enclave in Virginia City, but they steer clear of Carson and Reno. Nice casinos, low cost of living: 1BR apartment $350/mo, steak dinner 99 cents, free drinks. Bring a little extra pocket money. The house always wins. The problem with Mark Twain's old stomping ground is lack of employment. Few white collar jobs of any kind. Men need a grubstake, tools, and a blue-collar trade (plumbing, electrical, concrete, trucking). Girls work at casinos, computer terminals or motel rooms.
No pufftahs here, buddy. This is the real deal, a Western cattle town, strong as heck and proportionately proud of it. Expect basic Christian morals and a healthy measure of Christian tolerance (yes — there is such a thing). Cowboy hats aren't for show, these are working ranchers. If I had my youth again, I'd choose the rough and tumble West, where men are men. The key to success is simply: tell the truth, avoid insulting people. Advice from an Elko attorney to his client on telephone, regarding trespass: "Don't you shoot him. Call the deputy sheriff, and have him shoot him."
Just off I-80, sound asleep with huge American flags everywhere. Beautiful rolling countryside (Pennsylvania) or lush prairie (Nebraska) that stretches hundred of miles in every direction, home to the honest agrarianism that Thomas Jefferson recommended. Farming is the nominal economy. Take away farm subsidies and — kaboom! — but there's approximately zero political risk of that happening, no matter how distended the Federal deficit. Nice advantage of these two localities in particular is their hidden diversity: plenty of cappucino bars and car mechanics.
For the hearty survivalist, nothing tops a jagged mountain of metal. On the shore of nearby Lake Superior, Copper Harbor offers cheap land, wise old neighbors. The "upper peninsula" is basically cut off from the rest of us. I once conceived of it as a good place to deport convicted criminals, because the U.P. seldom allows the dishonest or ill-prepared a second chance. No jobs. Few neighbors. Plan on homesteading and 100% self-sufficiency. If that proves too difficult, you can retreat to hilly, forested Northern Wisconsin at slightly higher cost, where lakeside camping and fishing and grousing is a way of life. At the border, tell them you're a lumberjack, and Wisconsin will offer you a free pull from its stalest keg of Schlitz in sullen welcome.
All of the above assumes that you made a bundle on the market, had it cut in half by not listening to me last year, yet still have half a bundle to play with. Many people are in this position. If you act now, your rump savings will be enough to get started somewhere less nutty than San Francisco.
But what about the poor? What chance do they have?
Actually, a lot. Poor people don't hesitate, don't agonize over interest rates. They just get in the jalopy — all seven of them, including the baby — and head for the hills. When they arrive, sure enough, Dad will find some kind of work, Mom will join a church, and everybody will get to eat. It's the American Way that Woody Guthrie sang about: This land is your land, this land is my land. It's basically impossible to starve to death in the United States. Americans produce so much food that we give most of it away, with or without Federal supervision. Nearly every town in the country has a community food bank that supplements AFDC and Food Stamps. More good news: that generous surplus is grown in rural locations! Your desire to eat and your intention to escape urban angst are solved by one and the same strategy — i.e., get out of town and head for the country. Hippies did it thirty years ago in Northern California with less money and less brainpower than you possess. I would have recommended Northern California as a destination but, regretably, it's full of mystical old hippies and their Politically Correct offspring. Personally, I detest wind chimes as much as bagpipes (which disqualified Scotland).
The basic idea is to leave. Where you go doesn't matter, as long as it's away from cities, cops, TV coverage, and tall buildings. This war will continue for years, according to Donald Rumsfeld. Take it at face value. Years.
How would you rather spend those years?
Wolf DeVoon is the author of "Government is a Quack Faith Healer" and many other articles.
My wife and I have already decided that we are leaving this area in about two years (that's about how long it will take to get everything together).
Where we're going, we don't know yet, but you can rest assured that there won't be a lot of commies (Repuklicrats of the screw party system) around. If'n the Screw Party Dolts do decide to INVADE, we'll be ready!
Hey, terrorists are terrorists!
Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.