Once upon a time, there was a Magical Kingdom, wherein a God-fearin', industrious People flourished, enjoying their Lives, their Liberty, and their Pursuit of Happiness. These good People were empowered by their Trust in a Guv'ment of Constitutionally-limited Powers, the inherent Goodness of their Democratically-chosen Leaders, and their belief that Justice and the Rule of Law triumphs over all. This Great Kingdom, led by the patriot Reagan, fought the Great Crusade against the evil, totalitarian Red Fiefdom accross the Sea, and were Victorious, inspiring other Sheeples--longing fer FReedom--to look upon the Kingdom as a Shining City on the Hill.
Until one day, a devious cabal of Power-hungry men and womyn infiltrated the Kingdom, casting a wicked spell of Fear, Cynicism, and Doubt that steadily enslaved ever-increasing numbers of these fine People in the Shackles of Dependency and Entitlement. And the Power of these Despoilers of FReedom--who called themselves Lib'rals--grew immense, as they wrested control of the Halls of Enlightenment, the Chroniclers of Information, the Ministry of Culture, and the gargantuan Bureaucracy of Regulators. As the Great Reagan and his many strong Knights returned from vanquishing the Despots of the Red Fiefdom, they wearily attempted to resist this Vast, LeftWing Conspiracy and the sinister Tide of Pessimism that had permeated the Soul of their once-great Kingdom. However, Reagan had grown weak and ill from his heroic efforts, and the Defenders of Liberty--who called themselves Conservatives--found themselves without a strong Leader, and temporarily without direction. And the Sheeple were spell-bound and silent...
Into this breach strode the vile, boorish ruler, Slick Willie...a charlatan without a Soul, devoid of Character, and driven only by a shameless Lust Fer Power (and fer Harlots to whom he was not Betrothed). The Lib'rals hailed his tyrannical reign and excused his treasonous crimes, as the self-styled "Effete Elite" secretly despised the Kingdom's granting of FReedom and Liberty to the peasant Sheeple, for by empowering their subjects, the Lib'rals tenuous claim on Power was undercut. The corrupt Slick Willie--who came to be known as Billzabubba the Cruel--sought to further the Enslavement of the once-strong People by not-so-secretly colluding with the Despots of a new, totalitarian Red Fiefdom accross the Sea, and conspired to increase his countrymen's dependence upon the Omnipotent Diety of Government. Still, the Sheeple remained spell-bound and largely silent...
Until, gloriously, a wise man of Noble, yet Humble, descent--who came to be known as the Maja Rushdie--arose from amongst the Masses, and spread accross the Kingdom his message of The Way Things Ought To Be!! An heir to the Optimism of Reagan, the Maja Rushdie inspired Millions to awake from their Mellow Apathy and strike out against the tyrannical rule of the Lib'rals and the reign of the EVIL BillzaBubba. Still, most of the Sheeple remained spell-bound and largely without harmony...
Finally, a young balladeer--who came to be known as Mudboy Slim--joined the Great Crusade against Slick Willie!! This handsome young Patriot combined the optimism of Reagan with the Wisdom of the Maja Rushdie, vocalizing many great folk songs that enlivened the Masses, causing the corrupt, Lib'ral spell to be broken and BillzaBubba and his Lib'ral apologists to be Vanquished from Power!!
Thus, there dawned a great new Libertarian Era of ever-shrinking Governmental Authority and ever-growing Individual Liberty and Personal Responsibility. Herein are compiled but a few of those songs that have been passed down through the Ages,
"The Ballads Of Mudboy Slim"
FReegards...MUD
Right's sellin' postcards of Re-Impeachment...
We're kickin' Slick outta town!!
The bettin' parlors're filled with Patriots...
The FReepers are in town!!!!
We listen to the Maja Rushi...
He's got us in a trance...
One hand is at the throat of the Lib'rals...
The other's behind his back!!
And the S.S. dudes, they're our FRiends...
They lurk, therefore, they know...
That these FReepers and I...Left knows we're Right...
As we March Against Left's "'HO"!!!
Yes, bin Laden, he is so sleazy...
"It takes MUD to know scum!" MUD smiles...=^D
Slick underestimates MUD's moxie...
MUD's gonna drive bin WILD!!!
Then, here comes T-Mac...vile Terry...
The Chairman...of Left's Dee-N-See!!!
So MUD says, "Ashcroft...YOU SHALL INDICT T-Mac... By Halloween!!"
Mudboy pleaded with the Left...
"Won'tcha let Slick Willie go?!
Is Slick's Legacy really worth...
Yer givin' up yer SOUL?!"
And now Left's goons do Clinton's bidding...
Left's stars...have they really no pride?!
They support the Vile Rapist...
So us "Nazis" won't stop INFANTICIDE!!
All except fer FoxNewsChannel...
TeeVee Networks should be ashamed...
Fer ignorin' TYRANNY...
Historians shall lay blame!!
And us Right-Wing Christians...we're FReepin'!!
We're singin', "Slick is just MUD'z 'HO!!"
Slick's gonna FEEL the vengeance of the Right...
Willard's Prison-Bound!!
Young Chelsea, she's soooo CORRUPTED...
Poor girl, Webb's daughter's been laid...
On her twenty-second birthday...
Her young future's already stained.
To her, Truth must be soooo pedantic...
Her mind can't shake Left's bent...
Her Daddy may sleep with her best FRiends...
But that's just "Fine" with the Left!!!
'Cuz all Left's lies depend upon...the Media...YES, THEY KNOW!!!
Chelsea spends her time askin' Reno,
"Why's my Dad a 'HO?!!"
Clinton tells lies like the Taliban...
Don't Left know Slick's Populism's BUNK?!!
Fascist goals taint Left's PowerWhores...
And their friends, the Chi-Com Monks.
Billzabubba seems vacuously FRightful...
Yet, Slick's thugs pose no real threat...
'Cuz while Bill's off drainin' his pipe...
MUD's Dethronin' EX-Pres-i-dent!!!
You folks may think we can't git Slick...
But Re-Impeachment's "ON", I KNOW!!
Bill'll pay the price fer his Vile TREASON!!!
Fer the Slaughter at Waco!!!
Med'yuh Whore'd...it sleeps thru MURDER!!
Right must wake the SHEEPLE up!!
This is no time fer patience...
Mudboy's singin', "THE GIG IS UP!!!"
Lord has cursed the Ozark Loser...
Put MUD in charge of fightin' Whorealdo...
Help Doc Raoul FReep with Angelwood...
Militiamen are kewl!!
We all play on the FreeRepublic[.com]...
Come and join us, folks...
If you folks care about yer Country...
DEMAND PROSECUTION...NOW!!!
In DeeCee streets, Left fails their Victims...
Democrats're a Party Fer Elites...
Left's Pantheon of Heroes...
Are but Pimps fer the Fed'ral Beast!!
Left is spoon-feedin' FEAR to the Masses...
In hopes State Power will endure...
Men, Lib'rals KILL Viable Young Infants...
To call that "CHOICE" seems quite absurd!!
Still, the NAGS* are shoutin' at pregnant girls...
"Come join us, gals, we got Roe...
That "tissue mass" is just yer punishment...
Abort IT, girl...then we'll own yer SOUL!!"
*(NAGS=National Association of Gals)
Way past midnight, INS Agents...
Led by that Ol' Reno Shrew...
Raged down upon young Elian's home...
Guns aimed at the camera crew!!
Then Slick sent Elian back to Castro...
Poor kid dreams of bein' FRee!!
Re-Enslaved on Slick Willie's orders...
With Castro pullin' strings!!
If Liberty's such a hassle...
Tell them Socialists to go...
'Cuz this Country was founded by Patriots...
Chantin' "Sic Semper Tyrannis!!!"
FReepers, be Heroes...JOIN US!!!
The Culture War is "ON!!"
Bold Mudboy is singin',
"Is you Right or is you Wrong?!"
And George Orwell and J.R.R. Tolkien...
Forewarned against Tyrannic Power...
While my darlin' Jewel joins the Right...
She and MUD're tradin' flowers!! [LOL!!]
Return, my FRiends, to Liberty!!...
Victory goes to the BOLD!!
Folks, this Country must rethink how much...
We love...Equal Justice Fer ALL!!
(Sweet Mudboy harpin')
Yes, MUD conceived a letter yesterday...
In response to the one Slick wrote...
Clinton asked MUD, "How much to stop this?!"
MUD sang, "Slick, yer a FReepin' JOKE!!!
Them FReepers that I've mentioned...
Slick, I know them, they don't play!!
Folks, we gotta re-arrange this Nation...
And teach them Lib'rals about SHAME!!
Fight now...Warriors Fer the Good...
Just save yer excuses, bro...
Help MUD FReep the EX-President...
Fer Condamnation...NOW!!!!
(MUD harpin' and strummin')
Mudboy Slim (8/21/00)