Here are my bumper sticker suggestions:
WARNING: TELLING SMOKERS "You know, you really should quit," IS HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH.
I CAN STILL OPERATE A CAR WITHOUT KILLING ANYONE AFTER I HAVE A CIGARETTE.
Have a cigarette! Support your local tax thieves!
I SMOKE. YOU TAKE PROZAZ. WHICH ONE OF US HAS MEDICAL DOCUMENTATION THAT THEY HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS?
I SMOKE. YOU TAKE PROZAC. IN SOME STATES IT'S ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO BUY A GUN. I STILL CAN. Think about it.
IF THEY TAKE MY CIGARETTES THEN THEY WILL TAKE YOUR SUGAR.
IT'S NOT ABOUT CIGARETTES, IT'S ABOUT LIBERTY. IT'S ABOUT CHOICE.
NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT FROM "SMOKING AND DRIVING".
I'M SURE YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN BITCH AT A SMOKER. (If you don't, might I make a few suggestions?)
SMOKING MIGHT KILL ME. POINTING THAT OUT WILL SURELY KILL YOU.
IF YOU AVIOD CIGARETTES, DRINK MODERATELY, EXERCISE REGULARLY, ONLY HAVE SAFE SEX, EAT WELL AND ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ANYWAY. GET OVER IT.
I'LL DIE IF I DON'T QUIT SMOKING? WELL, OTHERS WILL DIE IF I DO.
THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME FROM RIPPING APPART RUDE, BUSYBODY PEOPLE WHO WOULD CRITISIZE A STRANGER FOR BUYING A PACK OF CIGARETTES IS A NICE, RELAXING SMOKE.
WARNING: DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY CIGARETTES IF YOU ARE MORE THAN 10 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT.
OH! IS MY SMOKE BOTHERING YOU? WELL, YOUR PERFUME IS GAGGING ME.
I REALLY WANT TO QUIT SMOKING, BUT I JUST CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO IT, KNOWING HOW IT P@SSES YOU OFF SO MUCH.
I CAN'T SMOKE IN YOUR BUSINESS? THEN YOU CAN'T HAVE MY MONEY.
A LIBERAL'S COMPASSION: "Smoking is terribly addictive and often causes cancer? ALRIGHT! WE GOT 'EM BY THE B@LLS! LET'S TAX THE SH$T OUT OF 'EM!?
DYING EXSMOKER: I became addicted to cigarettes as a child. Now I'm dying a horrible, painful death. LIBERAL JUDGE: That's just terrible! Let's take money from the Tobacco Industry and do everything with it BUT help smokers quit and pay for their medical care!! (aside) *here's the money you wanted for AIDS research, john*
SMOKING RELATED DEATHS ARE PREVENTABLE. SO IS AIDS. PICK YOUR BATTLES.
If I stop buying cigarettes you will find yourself gladly buying them for me.