Even though I'm not in the military, I can so relate to this:
'I Don't Have Anything Else to Talk About'
At home, I found few people could understand the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Many say it's just too complicated, and are convinced that America is losing. In polls, two-thirds now say they oppose the war. As these polls were being taken in July, I was in Kabul, where Army Lt. Col. Michael J. Loos, on his fourth deployment, told me: "I know we are making effective progress. I see it every day. This may be the most important thing I've ever done in the military.''
It's even becoming more difficult for soldier and civilian to converse. Army Capt. Stefan Hutnik, a company commander in Afghanistan, recalls being home from a combat tour and being told by his wife, as they were headed out to a family dinner, please don't talk about the Army or the war.
"But,'' he said sadly, "I don't have anything else to talk about.''
I've been here a long time now. It's part of my life's fabric, but nobody back home wants to have any of it peppering my conversation. There's a definite disconnect and I sometimes feel like a visitor when I'm home.
I feel forced to discuss what everyone else is discussing, comment on everyone else's life, but Heaven forbid if I open a little peek into my own. And it is my life now, but I feel a little stifled.
Other people who have been over here a long time, both military and civilian have said the same things.
We see and experience these amazing things, and nobody back home wants to hear about it. And as the article says, we don't have much else to talk about afer having been here so long.
So, we have a tendency to withdraw.
Or come back.
I misspoke this. (I'm tired - I haven't had a day off since the two days I spent in the hospital when I was stricken with typhoid this past July...)
I love to catch up with everyone back home, hear what's been going on in their lives, see everyone again and just feel the "normal." At gatherings, I sometimes just sit and watch, enjoying how everyone seems so carefree and grounded.
It's the part where I can't really contribute anything relative to it and nobody wants to hear whatever I would contribute that makes me feel somewhat stifled.
Just wanted to get that clear lest there be any misperceptions. ;-)
Allegra, Wow, this really sounds like you have just returned from Viet Nam. When I read this post, my mind raced back a lot of years.
You learn to keep your mouth shut, head down and move forward on your own.
Semper Fi