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The Army MP's, the Marines MP's and the Air Force Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out top. After some basic exercises the Instructor tells them their next objective is to go down into the woods and come back with a rabbit for dinner.

First up are the Army. They don their infra-red goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence occurs for 5 mins, followed by a single muffled shot. They emerge with a rabbit, shot cleanly through the forehead. "Excellent work" says the Instructor.

Next up are the Marines. They finish their cans of coke, cover themselves in camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their voices.

For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of machine gun fire, mortar bombs, hand grenades and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.

"A bit messy but you got a result, well done" says the Instructor.

Lastly in go the Air Force Police, walking slowly, hands behind backs, whistling the theme from Law and Order. For the next few hours the silence is only broken by the occasional cackle of a walkie-talkie: 'sierra oscar lima one, suspect headed straight for you' etc.

After what seems like an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in hand cuffs. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous Instructor.

"Take the squirrel back and get me a rabbit, like I asked you to 5 hours ago!!!"

So back they go. Minutes pass, these minutes turn to hours and day turns to night. The next morning the Trainer and the rest of the crew are awakened by the Air Force Police, stil holding the handcuffed squirrel, that is now covered in bruises.

"Are you serious?" asks the irate Instructor.

The Air Force team Leader then coughs and shoots a glance at the squirrel who squeaks, "Alright, alright I confess,I am a rabbit!"

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"

The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."

So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.

Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures. One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Darn, this one doesn't have any