Conservative Christians Tackle Divorce, The 'Other' Marriage Crisis

Poitics Daily ^ | October 3, 2010 | David Gibson

[Mrs. Don-o]

As a Catholic, I can't think of any Baptist I admire more than Albert Mohler, a first-class thinker and writer, and a man with a heart for God and for God's people.

I think his reflections on the heartbreak and scandal of divorce probably touch each and every one of us, either in our own situation or int he situations of people who are near and dear to us.

He is undoubtedly right that divorce has done more damage to Christian marriages than "gay" "marriage" ever will. (I myself think that "gay" "marriage" is in large part a symptom that metaphorically, marriage itself has AIDS. If marriage were not already very sick, in fact immune-deficient, it is impossible that a mutant opportunistic infection like "gay" "marriage" would ever be a threat.)

So what's to be done?

What say ye?

[sodpoodle]

One can altruistically accept that gay marriage would not affect society unless children were to be introduced into the mix. And they are; by IVF, adoption and when one partner has bio children as a result of a prior heterosexual liason. IMHO Gay marriage was simply a way for homosexual couples to be fully accepted by family and society.

More destructive (to a civil society) than gay marriage is the dissolution of heterosexual marriages; by the common-law co-habitation with multiple partners, producing dozens of children who have full siblings, half-siblings, step-siblings etc., scattered all over the globe with no sense of family continuity.

Visits to gran’ma’s house will soon require biometric IDs.

[christianhomeschoolmommaof3]

Wonderful article. I agree that as Christians we should have higher standards than the world where marriage is concerned.

Of course lots of people that aren’t Christians call themselves Christians and that gets put into the equation as well.

[napscoordinator]

You cannot possibly be a conservative and think that divorce is ok. I thank God everyday that I was raised to believe that divorce is not an option. So far (knock on wood), we have not had a divorce in our family in three generations. We did have one divorce with my grandmother’s parents (back in 1920 believe it or not...lol) That was enough to turn our stomach’s on that mess. I believe that if people would put as much energy into their marriages as they do everything else we would be a much better nation. I agree that as a Catholic this guy is pretty decent.

[fightinJAG]

This focus is long overdue.

Divorce wounds people, deeply. It wounds the spouses and the children.

[Ransomed]

For the faiths that recognize divorce, do they have to go through a process in their religion, or do they just rely on the gubberment to tell them if a marriage still exists or not?

Freegards

[Strategerist]

It’s interesting that essentially the same points were made in an article by David Boaz from the Cato Institute, posted here about a week ago, and people fell all over themselves to proclaim him an idiot.

And Boaz didn’t even make the fairly obvious point that this article does, mainly that the ant-gay marriage fight is a losing battle over time given, the far greater acceptance of gays among the young.

Overall, though, other than perhaps greater tax credits for the married there’s no realistic governmental/public policy way you’re going to force people to stay married; even an attempt to do so would be political suicide.

[marshmallow]

"Do-overs"..............it's the American way.

Forgiveness and making a new start when we mess up are integral to the Christian message. We can say "sorry" to God, wipe the slate clean and begin again. Unfortunately, we've taken that concept to places it was never intended to go. When a marriage is messed up, there's no closing that book and opening a new one.

I believe this confusion is due to the fact that so much of what passes for "Christianity" in the US is man centered and not God centered. God is there to help me.........God wants me to be happy............God can fulfill my dreams........Jesus saved me.........

Me, me, me...........it's all about me.

How many churches peddle this "feel-good" message where I am at the center and God is just another means to get "high"?

Simply put, they've removed the cross from Christianity. Once this happens, human suffering, difficulties and trials are things which have no value and must be dispensed with as also must the things which cause them. This includes things such as a difficult marriage. However, the cross is integral to Christianity. It is essential to Christianity.

The cross is not something about which you hear very much in the "praise-centered" evangelical churches, and sadly, in Catholicism too, these days. No, I don't mean blathering on about "thank you, thank you Jesus.......you saved me by your Cross". That's talking the talk.

I'm referring to "walking the walk" and taking up our own cross, as Jesus indicated when he said that "anyone who wants to be a follower of mine must take up his cross and follow me."

You reap what you sow.

[fightinJAG]

But the new focus on getting Christians to practice what they preach marks an important shift in the culture war front, and, if successful, could prove to be the most potent cultural argument evangelicals have ever deployed.

Here, in the last line of the article, lies the kernel of the problem, I think.

The author states that there must be a "new focus on getting Christians to practice what they preach." I say there must be a new focus on getting Christians to preach, and teach one another from Scripture, God's view on divorce.

Which is that He hates it.

Christians, who study the Bible for themselves, would do well to notice how, over and over again, the Lord uses the "picture" of marriage to explain His relationship to His church (the community of believers) -- and to explain His hurt when the ones He loves betray Him -- how often He speaks of "adultery" when His people follow after other (false) gods.

The constant references to the relationship with the Father. Today how many young people never know by experience what a true, loving earthly father is?

In short, much of Christianity has failed to teach that God really, really wants you to take marriage seriously and to stay married with very few exceptions. Moreover, Christians should be taught that they go in to marriage with resources in Heaven by which to face life's challenges, including those in marriage.

To me the bottom line is being a follower of Jesus means wanting to live in a way that pleases God, and divorce and adultery don't. A serious commitment to godly living goes a long way toward creating and sustaining a serious commitment to marriage.

Also Christians must return to teaching against fornication. It's a simple fact that the social acceptance of premartial sex undermines marriage.

One can't be guilty of not practicing what is not preached.

[Truthsearcher]

I’ve been making the same argument for years. But I’m glad to see that finally it’s getting the attention it deserves. If we want to save marriage and the family, we have to deal with the problem of easy divorces.

[fightinJAG]

A culture of strong marriages among conservatives (Christian or not) would be a much greater positive influence on our society than any actual policy we could implement.

[papertyger]

What a load...

Anyone who addresses the subject of divorce, but fails to note eighty percent of all divorces are sought by women, is a coward and a hypocrite.

[papertyger]

What a load...

Anyone who addresses the subject of divorce, but fails to note eighty percent of all divorces are sought by women, is a coward and a hypocrite.

[fightinJAG]

I have to go to quite a few doctor appointments. I always note how many older couples I see in the waiting room. We always smile — the older man always ends up with the wife’s purse while she goes in. So often they are loving and kind to one another and you can tell they have been together for decades.

And I often think that sight will be much more rare in my children’s generation. The ways things are going, it looks like there will be very few couples who end up growing old together and helping one another at the doctor’s office.

[longtermmemmory]

It is very nice for you but Divorce may be the only option for some situations. The orthodox christian faith allows for echlisiastic divorces. Note: I did not say good, just only option (think physical or mental abuse, infidelity, bigamy etc)

we also have to remember that 10% of all divorced couples remarry the same person. so the REAL divorce rate is in the 30s.

[PhxRising]

While I agree that divorce is definitely a problem that Christians should work together to reduce, however, the premise of this article is wrong - Christians divorce at the same rate as the general population.

This false premise started with a survey from George Barna, which has been proven to be wrong. However, his bad work has been taken as truth and continued to spread.

http://brewright.blogspot.com/2006/12/christian-divorce-rates.html
“Many people believe that Christian marriages end in divorce just as often as non-Christian, but it turns out, using the best data available, that this is not true.”

“To illustrate, here are the divorce rates among ever-married respondents in the General Social Survey (GSS, 2000-2004)—one of the best known sources of sociological data. “Frequent” is attending church about once a week or more.

58%, non-frequent Black Protestants
54%, non-frequent Evangelicals
51%, no religion (e.g., atheists & agnostics)
48%, ALL NON-CHRISTIANS
48%, non-frequent, other religions
47%, frequent Black Protestants
42%, non-frequent, mainline Protestants
41%, ALL CHRISTIANS
41%, non-frequent Catholics
39%, Jews
38%, frequent other religions
34%, frequent Evangelicals
32%, ALL FREQUENT CHRISTIANS
32%, frequent mainline Protestants
23%, frequent Catholics”

“Why do so many people believe otherwise? It appears to stem from the work of George Barna. In well-publicized studies, he has compared divorce rates of “born again” Christians against non-Christians, and he finds little difference. Here’s the catch: his type of analysis labels as “non-Christian” many mainline Protestants, such as Presbyterians, Lutherans, and Episcopalians, and most Catholics. As such, he is comparing Christians against Christians.”

[fightinJAG]

Well said.

Too often God is preached as the great vending machine in the sky. There to give, give, give if we just press the right buttons.

As I said upthread, it’s not exactly accurate to talk about Christians not practicing what they preach because so few preach, or teach, that God hates divorce, sexual immorality, and adultery and that following Him means living in a way that agrees with what He says is right.

[Opinionated Blowhard]

Christian churches should not perform marriages for people who have had certain types of divorces. If a couple had a “no fault” divorce, a solid, conservative church should not conduct a marriage ceremony for them again. They can get married in front of a judge or other civil service.

[Grunthor]

Abuse, addiction or adultery.

-Grunthors’ only allowable grounds for divorce.

[hellbender]

I agree with the article that:

"divorce harms many more lives than will be touched by homosexual marriage."

The Christian life is one which puts the welfare of others above selfish "fulfillment".