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Does God Expect Me to Stay Married to a Jerk?
Christian Post ^ | 9/22/2009 | S. Michael Craven

Posted on 09/22/2009 7:29:33 AM PDT by SeekAndFind

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To: GUNGAGALUNGA
Anybody doubt that look at your spouse now vs when you got married.

My wife and I have both changed and for the better. We hit speed bumps now and then but we knew what we were both committing to when we received the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

21 posted on 09/22/2009 8:06:15 AM PDT by frogjerk (Obama Administration: Security thru Absurdity)
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To: iowamark
The correct answer is: Don’t marry a jerk in the first place.

Thanks for the advise, but how do you spot one accurately before taking the plunge ?
22 posted on 09/22/2009 8:06:22 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
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To: SeekAndFind
...how do you spot one accurately before taking the plunge ?

Don't get married six months after meeting that person.

I knew my wife socially for 11 years before we started dating. I knew what kind of person she was.

23 posted on 09/22/2009 8:11:33 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: SeekAndFind
What happens if they do have kids ?

Keeping kids in a bad situation with a parent who is emotionally unable to be a good parent for whatever reason, is harmful to the kids. Take the kids out of the situation, help them to understand that it is not their fault, and help them to understand the reason(s)their parent is sick. Then help them to acquire the tools they need to have so they can have a "relationship" with the sick parent without getting harmed.

24 posted on 09/22/2009 8:11:58 AM PDT by LuvFreeRepublic (CAN YOU HEAR US NOW!!!)
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To: frogjerk

God divorced Israel for cheating on Him with other gods. Jeremiah ch. 3.
I would tell you the verse, but it is better that you read the chapter.


25 posted on 09/22/2009 8:12:10 AM PDT by SentForth5 (Just sayin' is all...)
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To: GUNGAGALUNGA

Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds.


26 posted on 09/22/2009 8:12:43 AM PDT by LongElegantLegs (It takes a Viking to raze a Village!)
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To: LuvFreeRepublic
Take the kids out of the situation, help them to understand that it is not their fault, and help them to understand the reason(s)their parent is sick. Then help them to acquire the tools they need to have so they can have a "relationship" with the sick parent without getting harmed.

How do you do that if your kids are VERY YOUNG or still infants ?
27 posted on 09/22/2009 8:14:27 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
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To: SeekAndFind

I hate to say it depends, but it does. If she is a true psycho-bitch, then divorce and take the kids with you. Protect the kids.

In my son’s case, he married a woman who, within a month, was physically attacking him with anything she could grab several times a week. On the nights she didn’t assault him, she would scream obscenities for hours.

And yes, she claimed that if they had kids, it would get better, and no, she didn’t need any counseling.

I told him to run - but as it turned out, she filed for divorce a few months later.


28 posted on 09/22/2009 8:14:42 AM PDT by Mr Rogers (I loathe the ground he slithers on!)
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To: SeekAndFind

I see two questions being asked on this post. First is an epistemological question: can I know God’s will? The second question is more axiological, namely, how does that knowledge affect my relationship with a “jerk”? Although God not not revealed everything about Himself, that does not mean that I can’t know something about God. God has revealed what he wants us to know about Him through the Scriptures. If we don’t accept the Scriptures as being our epistemological authority, then we are left to our own imagination and/or superstition. We know that Scripture teaches that marriage is to be a life long monogamous heterosexual union. Anything short of that is contrary to God’s will. Divorce is the result of sin or the hardness of our hearts. Because of sin, God allowed the state (civil law) to issue a divorce for two reasons: adultery and desertion. Before you get married, keep your eyes wide open, and after you get married keep them half shut. People get married for the wrong reasons, and they all too often fail to understand what it means to be married. The person that you married was a jerk before you got married, so what did you expect?


29 posted on 09/22/2009 8:18:50 AM PDT by Nosterrex
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To: SeekAndFind
How do you do that if your kids are VERY YOUNG or still infants ?

It is hard to take them out of the situation when they are young, primarily because of divorce lawyers. Take advantage of every moment you have with them and build their self esteem and strengthen your bond with them. As time goes on, they will understand. They say in Alanon, do the best you can and turn the results over to God. If they believe in themselves and they trust you, you are doing all you can.

I have an older one (23) that I can't take out of the situation. I trust that she will figure it out. She has my blood running through her veins.

30 posted on 09/22/2009 8:25:15 AM PDT by LuvFreeRepublic (CAN YOU HEAR US NOW!!!)
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To: SeekAndFind

Selfishness is not the cause of divorce.


31 posted on 09/22/2009 8:26:15 AM PDT by bvw
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To: SeekAndFind
I followed your advise and I have to say, she's getting better with age.

What a wonderful response!

32 posted on 09/22/2009 8:26:49 AM PDT by Nea Wood (Silly liberal . . . paychecks are for workers!)
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To: bvw

Selfishness is the cause of ALL sin.


33 posted on 09/22/2009 8:27:13 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: humblegunner

My ex-husband, too. His mom just spent a couple of weeks with him and was sneaking around on the phone to tell me what a mean person he was. I said, “You don’t have to tell me- I was with him for 8 years!” Meaner than a snake, and I say that with all apologies to the reptiles out there.


34 posted on 09/22/2009 8:27:25 AM PDT by conservative cat (America, you have been PWNED!)
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To: anyone

I thought my husband was “the bee’s knees” back when I married him many years ago, but now I KNOW he is a good man. You all make me want to run in and give him a hug and a kiss, which I think I will do - some people maybe choose to vent their disappointments with their comments on this topic, while others reading this thread realize again just how wonderful life is and that Obama or no Obama, love in the home is wealth enough.


35 posted on 09/22/2009 8:28:00 AM PDT by Coyote Choir
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To: Nosterrex

Indeed, one of the biggest reasons the Lord YHVH sent us His Word was to let us know what is His will, and what is not His will.
We know the will of God when we know the scriptures.


36 posted on 09/22/2009 8:28:02 AM PDT by SentForth5 (Just sayin' is all...)
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To: ShadowAce

No, that’s not so at all.


37 posted on 09/22/2009 8:28:35 AM PDT by bvw
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To: bvw
Then give me an example of a sin that depends on one's unselfishness.

Pride is the source of all sin, and pride and selfishness go hand-in-hand.

38 posted on 09/22/2009 8:31:01 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Mr Rogers
If one person is working to destroy the other, and will not agree to counseling, then the other needs to escape.

I doubt the effectiveness of counseling.

It's just some words.

39 posted on 09/22/2009 8:33:05 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: humblegunner

That depends on the person hearing them (and giving them). In many cases, one person WANTS to destroy the other - so counseling won’t do any good.


40 posted on 09/22/2009 8:37:02 AM PDT by Mr Rogers (I loathe the ground he slithers on!)
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