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Protestants Plan to Honor John Calvin's 500th Birthday
Newsmax.com ^ | June 8, 2007 | William Connery

Posted on 06/09/2007 7:14:39 AM PDT by Alex Murphy

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To: Dr. Eckleburg; xzins
It happens all the time.

It was predestined.

41 posted on 06/10/2007 11:11:46 AM PDT by P-Marlowe (LPFOKETT GAHCOEEP-w/o*)
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To: blue-duncan; xzins; Dr. Eckleburg
Attention. The Following is a JOKE!

.

10 REASONS WHY I AM A CALVINIST

1. Calvinists tend to wear wool and cotton. Dispensationalists tend to wear lime-green polyester leisure suits.

2. John Calvin was French...being French is very chic.

3. Calvin sounds like Calvin Klein...and his clothes are very chic.

4. Calvinists can drink.

5. Calvinists can smoke.

6. Dispensationalists are into prophecy conferences where they talk about Star-Trek eschatology and the mark of the Beast. Calvinists have conferences on "life and culture", art, social justice, and other high- brow things like that. Afterwards, we go to the local pub and talk about philosophy over a pint of Bass ale.

7. Calvinists have close ties with Scotland and Scotland is very cool: you know --Sean Connery, the movie Highlander, Bagpipes, the Loch Ness Monster, Glenlivet 18 year old Scotch, the movie Train Spotting, Brave Heart, etc.

8. Calvinists think we are smarter than anybody else.

9. It is more socially acceptable to say, "I go to Grace Presbyterian Church" than to say, "I go to Washed In The Blood Worship Center", "I go to Sonlife Charismatic Believers Assembly", or to say "I go to Boston Berean Bible Believing Baptist Bethel", or to say "I go to the Latter-Day- Rain Deliverance Tabernacle Prophecy Center, Inc.", or to say "I go to the Philadelphia Church of the Majority Text", or to say "I go to the Lithuanian Apostolic Orthodox Autocephalic Church of the Baltic union of 1838".

10. Ultimately, I am a Calvinist because I had no choice in the matter.

.

.

Actually, maybe it's true.

42 posted on 06/10/2007 11:20:57 AM PDT by P-Marlowe (LPFOKETT GAHCOEEP-w/o*)
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To: Larry Lucido
Western democracy owe a debt of gratitude to John Calvin,” For what??

Since you have apparently not studied much history, here's a quick lesson.

On one side, the Scottish reformers were direct spiritual descendants of Calvin (although a bit more conservative.) They rediscovered the Biblical form of church government, now generally known as the Presbyterian form of church government. And the Constitutional form of government as established in the US was directly patterned on the Presbyterian form of church government.

On the other side, the Puritans, also Calvinists, under Cromwell crushed the crown and gave England the basis for a strong representative parliament.

43 posted on 06/10/2007 12:07:56 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: PAR35

Um, I have studied history. It was tongue in cheek.


44 posted on 06/10/2007 1:13:29 PM PDT by Larry Lucido (Duncan Hunter 2008 (or Fred Thompson if he ever makes up his mind))
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To: blue-duncan; P-Marlowe; Dr. Eckleburg; Larry Lucido
Methodist flower...the daisy...he loves me, he loves me not

I'm going to have to correct you on this one, b-d. The methodists favorite flower is Gold Medal.

We are FAMOUS for our carry-in dinners. :>)

45 posted on 06/10/2007 1:15:41 PM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain And Proud of It! Those who support the troops will pray for them to WIN!)
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To: Dr. Eckleburg

Yes, they all said they were Dutch in the tradition of the Scotch (I still think scotch sounds right...I don’t care what anyone says.)


46 posted on 06/10/2007 1:19:28 PM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain And Proud of It! Those who support the troops will pray for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins

Scotch is what we drink. Scottish is what we are. 8~)


47 posted on 06/10/2007 2:38:51 PM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: P-Marlowe; blue-duncan; xzins; PAR35; ears_to_hear; HarleyD; Gamecock; Alex Murphy; ...
Good one, Marlowe. All except #8 are true-blue.

I just learned the other day that Ian Fleming was 100% Scottish and that James Bond himself was half-Scottish (his father was from Glencoe) and his mother was French-Swiss, a Huguenot, no less! And Bond attended his father's alma mater, a Calvinist school!!!

These facts should be good for #11 and #12.

48 posted on 06/10/2007 2:50:34 PM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: PAR35

I can’t hear those stirring sentences too many times. 8~)


49 posted on 06/10/2007 2:52:30 PM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: Dr. Eckleburg

It’s both....as in scotch/irish.

Check out Campbell’s “The Southern Highlander and His Homeland”

But, he was just a backwoods redneck like me


50 posted on 06/10/2007 3:07:46 PM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain And Proud of It! Those who support the troops will pray for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins

He was probably drinking when he wrote it. 8~)


51 posted on 06/10/2007 3:27:01 PM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: P-Marlowe

I choose to be a Dispensationalist. LOL


52 posted on 06/10/2007 3:33:33 PM PDT by RachelFaith
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To: Dr. Eckleburg; P-Marlowe
Good one, Marlowe. All except #8 are true-blue.

Speak for yourself lass! You can tell a Scot, but ye cannae tell him much.

53 posted on 06/10/2007 3:49:06 PM PDT by Calvinist_Dark_Lord ((I have come here to kick @$$ and chew bubblegum...and I'm all outta bubblegum! ~Roddy Piper))
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To: RachelFaith
I choose to be a Dispensationalist. LOL

You were predestined to choose to be a dispensationalist.

54 posted on 06/10/2007 3:52:12 PM PDT by P-Marlowe (LPFOKETT GAHCOEEP-w/o*)
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To: P-Marlowe

Rather, I choose of free will and God of omnipotence saw me do it before I was conceived.

As my mentor (Chuck Missler) says... I’m a Calvinistic Armenian.


55 posted on 06/10/2007 3:58:16 PM PDT by RachelFaith
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To: RachelFaith
I choose of free will and God of omnipotence saw me do it before I was conceived...I'm a Calvinistic Armenian

There's nothing about that sentence that is Calvinistic. It may be Armenian, however. It depends on the cuisine. 8~)

56 posted on 06/10/2007 5:00:01 PM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: Calvinist_Dark_Lord
You can tell a Scot, but ye cannae tell him much.

Aye. 8~)

How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Och! It's no that dark!


57 posted on 06/10/2007 5:07:24 PM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: RachelFaith; xzins; blue-duncan
Rather, I choose of free will.... As my mentor (Chuck Missler) says... I’m a Calvinistic Armenian.

Chuck Missler is a lot more Calvinistic than you think.

Did you ever hear him speak on "Divine Appointments"?

Some of us lean towards being "Calvinists in the Tradition of Arminius."

Your free will is a curse not a blessing. I would prefer to go through life without one. When we use our free will, we run from God. When God changes our will, we run to him.

Are you sure you want to cling to that "free will"?

58 posted on 06/10/2007 5:21:38 PM PDT by P-Marlowe (LPFOKETT GAHCOEEP-w/o*)
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To: P-Marlowe

I recognize the truth in both statements because I am not limited to a linear thought model.


59 posted on 06/10/2007 6:48:37 PM PDT by RachelFaith
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To: Dr. Eckleburg
How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?


Change???

60 posted on 06/10/2007 6:58:50 PM PDT by Calvinist_Dark_Lord ((I have come here to kick @$$ and chew bubblegum...and I'm all outta bubblegum! ~Roddy Piper))
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