Official Neener Friday Thread: How Many Statues Dance on the Head of 1 Veneration?

self ^ | 12 Jan 07 | Xzins

[xzins]

Presented to the Lord High Protector, etc., etc., etc.

[P-Marlowe]

Is that a list?

BTW the answer is

.

[wmfights]

I think the answer is zero.

We all know it must be worship to be of any value, not veneration. ;-)

[P-Marlowe]

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not an atheist."

Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a Christian."

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.

"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.

"What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

She paused, and smiled. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."

[xzins]

An old wizard was walking through a park when he came upon two statues. One statue was male and the other was female. They were positioned on opposite ends of the park, facing each other with their arms extended out as if to embrace. The wizard stood there for a long time examining their sad facial expressions until he got an idea.

He immediately opened up his bag of tricks and cast a spell on the statues to bring them to life. Once the statues realized they were human, they quickly ran up to him. The wizard, being very pleased with himself, told the statues that they could finally be together as a couple but there was one condition. He said, ''Go off and experience with each other whatever you've wanted to do for all these years but you must be back within a half an hour before the spell wears off.''

Wasting no time, they quickly ran off into the bushes. The wizard, with great pride, sat down on a park bench and waited patiently. Fifteen minutes later the two statues came walking back to him. The wizard, with great shock exclaimed, ''For over a hundred years you both have bore your passions and now that you have your chance, you come back after only fifteen minutes? Go back to the bushes and continue what you were doing before you lose your only chance!'' With that in mind the female turns to the male and exclaims, ''The old man's right. But this time you hold down the pigeons and I'll ~dance~ on their heads!''

[Pete]

I woke up yesterday and everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas. I turned to my roommate, George, and said,"George, everything in the apartment has been stolen and replaced with exact replicas." And he said, "Do I know you?".

[P-Marlowe]

I think the answer is zero.

Based on the formula the number could not be zero.

XS=1V
S=IV/X

Unless there were no venerations or no statues the number could not equal zero.

[xzins]

One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing.

He suddenly saw a statue of a rat made of bronze, and thought that it was interesting. He decided to buy it, and so he did.

The guy walked out of the store, carrying the statue in his arms. Suddenly some rats started following him.

He shrugged it off, and continued on his way.

As he walked along, more and more rats started following him, until all the rats in the city were behind him.

He suddenly realized that it was the statue that was doing this.

He headed towards the bay that resided next to the city, and threw the statue in. The rats followed, not caring about their immediate deaths.

The guy ran back to the store, and when he reached it, the store owner said, "No refunds".

The guy shook his head, and said,
"No, no, I was wondering if you had any statues like the one I bought, only, shaped like a lawyer."

[kawaii]

Is it the same as the number of personal interpretations necessary for proper book worshiping?

[wmfights]

Unless there were no venerations or no statues the number could not equal zero.

The answer must be zero! Venerating a statue, or graven image is worthless, you need to WORSHIP the object to get it to do things for you.

[P-Marlowe]

A combined statue and lawyer joke. How apropo. That is obviously deserving of some kind of Neener medal.

I'll have to see what I have in my carpetbag after I get back from my mediation.

Here one for Blue Duncan. I have a mediation scheduled for this morning. I didn't realize until I reviewed the file last night that the appointed mediator was the prior attorney for the co defendant and actually took the deposition of the plaintiff.

This was so long ago that neither he nor I remembered that he was involved in this case. Right now I don't know if he's figured it out or not. The mediation is set for later this morning. I don't think it will go forward. What do you think?

[xzins]

Unfortunately, even on a slow day, that is not humorous.

Previous LHP rulings have decreed that attempts at humor that fall flat are dealt with graciously.

Attempts at seriousness are out of order for this thread for this day and render the poster a non-neener with no exclamation point, no holy writ, no shield, no time table, etc., etc., etc.

What say ye, LHP, was that flat humor or flat seriousness?

[P-Marlowe]

The value of the dancing may be worthless, but the number of statues that can dance would have to be greater than zero even if the statues are not worth the plaster they are molded with. So you would have to reformulate the equation to compensate for whether they are merely venerated or worshipped.

Now you're getting into advanced Calculus, which is way beyond the expertise of any of us armchair theologians.

We need to bring in an engineer.

[xzins]

Adam West Erects a Statue Link

[P-Marlowe]

Are you turning down the "gracious offer" of a heroic medal for your accomplishment?

Do you think you have the free will to reject this gift?

Can I not foist it upon you without your permission?

Am I not the Sovereign Lord Protector?

Did you read my tagline?

[xzins]

A combined statue and lawyer joke.

I thought you'd like that. :>)

Instead of a medal, could you give me a title? (Or a brain, heart, or courage....)

I suspect that mediation, and mediator can be solved by adding a Mediatrix.

What would be truly Mediatrixsy is if it were a Statuesque Blonde.

[P-Marlowe]

Oops, sorry, I thought you were referring to my post #12.

[P-Marlowe]

Instead of a medal, could you give me a title? (Or a brain, heart, or courage....)

hmmmm. In that case I think I will reinstate my post number 16.

This is all so confusing.

[xzins]

In humble submission to your venerable tagline, I kneel and accept the heroic medal.

What's for lunch?