Resentment and Forgiveness -- Part 2

I very much agree that a legalistic and punitive approach to fasting is counterproductive and misses the point. We don't fast for God's sake, we fast for our own sake and benfit. The model that has shaped my family's lives has been a positive approach that lays out the guidelines of the Church for fasting -- both the outward acts and the inward struggles that must accompany the outward acts. And there is the encouragement to "do one's best" -- with the constant striving to improve, with the eventual goal of completely following the guidance of the Church with regard to both the inner and outward struggle.

I really don't think that most of us are able to look on fasting as a result of theosis, since we haven't come anywhere near to achieving it. For most of us average folks, fasting according to the guidance of the Church is a discipline that leads us to and down that path. We have to walk before we can run. The guidance of the Church is clear that self-willed and self-directed fasting is ineffective at best, dangerous at worst.

Very few of us are going to fast consistently at all, let alone to a degree adequate to accomplishing spiritual goals just out of our own volition and when we feel it in our heart. Very few of us would fast much at all under those conditions.

When we look at the lives of the great ascetic saints (who have travelled far down the path toward theosis) held up for our example, I can't say that I have heard of any saint that has come up with fasting practices different from that which the Church recommends. What we see in most of them is that they have left these guidelines far behind -- they keep them to the letter as a matter of course -- and do a whole lot beyond that.

The fasting guidelines of the Church are the product of thousands of years of experience with average folks like us, guidelines that are going to help us down that path in a way that we would only accomplish, if at all, with great difficulty and wasted effort. The Church's guidelines, have been (so to speak) "road-tested...", whereas something we might come up with on our is generally not.

Fasting is for us. I agree with Kosta that it can never be something we feel compelled to do out of fear or from legalistic, "etsi preppi" view of the Faith. On the other hand, century upon century of experience among our people teaches us that this is a good thing to do and those of us who keep the fast know that because we have seen the results in our own lives. The absolute best advice any of us, or any good spiritual father, will give is "do your best".

I must say I have noticed, and not been surprised, by the way, that so many of the recent converts and even the catechumens seem ready to jump into a strict monastic fast right now. From my point of view this is a mistake. I've been doing this for most of my life and I can't always succeed with a strict fast. Some years the best I can do is stay away from meat. But I keep trying.

We each work out our own theosis as best we can. Some people are higher up the ladder than others and then there are those of us stuck on the bottom rungs.

There is no point being myserable. We are not doing God a favor by fasting. We need to match our food with what's in our heart, our Chirstian heart.

I pretty much agree.

The longest I've fasted was for close to 24 hrs. I've done shorter periods that were more beneficial because the 24 hr. one was in the mind of atonement, and the shorter ones were precipitated by a sense of love for the Lord, and wanting to exhibit the love by the fast. I still suffered pangs of hunger, but I welcomed them, because I welcomed the fast. It was a full free-will fast.

I've often wondered why the Church (maybe it does, and I don't know it) doesn't advise one during Lent to give up things like talking, excepting when necessary. Or to give up all negative commenting on anything under the sun.

I often think I should leave FR alone for several weeks, and spend that time praying or reading Scripture, etc., and not discuss any of it with anyone, allowing the assimilation of the reading or prayer to be between just me and the Lord.

And yet here I sit prattling away...

This is also a reply to Kolo's #62, And LG's #63. Agrarian, as always, you say things in greater detail for the benefit of all of us.

Absolutely! We are not at liberty to "prescribe" our own fast. The Church is merely echoing the practices of the Holy Fathers whose theosis outshines us by leaps and bounds. If I came across as suggesting that we should tailor our own fast, I assure everyone that's not what I meant.

At the same time, a fast must be founded in the Christian heart and not be an act of obedience we hate but put up with because it "saves" us. That would be a minimalist approach to theosis and that is wrong! Going through the motions, as they say.

It is better to try and fail, but honestly fail and honestly try, then to cheat. Most of us are just crawling. However, if we feel that we are just following the rules and there is no honest wish we are fooling ourselves. Prayer and devotion to God must come out of love -- and when we do something out of love it's neither difficult nor an obligation.

"It is better to try and fail, but honestly fail and honestly try, than to cheat."

This is an excellent statement of a central tenet of the Orthodox approach to the spiritual life -- honesty with one's own self about one's failings and shortcomings. If we try to convince ourselves that we are farther along than we really are, we are only hurting ourselves.

Using "technicalities" to avoid spiritual labors, *and* then patting ourselves on the back at how well we are "keeping all the rules," simply isn't part of our tradition. I think I now understand your main point (I'm slow sometimes), and I couldn't agree more.

Most treatises on forgiveness do just what this one does.
Omits a very important step in forgivness..
In Luke 17:3 Christ lays out the formula for forgiveness, “If thy brother sin against you, CONFRONT him and IF he REPENTS, forgive him.” He then repeats this, for emphasis, in the next verse.
I have read elsewhere that it is a sin to forgive the unrepentant, as this will be a green light to keep doing what they did.

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