I get the "Morbid Fact du Jour". The owner is on a literary kick lately, and this is from the last one:
"Shut the door and lock and latch it,
here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet."
Too bad Lizzie Borden wasn't around to help out, or that the couple lacked a convenient door to lock and latch.
Maybe a gun to lock and load (and fire) would have been the best choice.