Alaska Bear Mauling Recorded on Tape

Yahoo ^ | October 8, 2003 | Rachel D'Oro

[Wondervixen]

>>Too bad more people, even those who should know better, don't take things more seriously

Or how about a little less seriously...After all, bears are woosies to deal with if you're not some lberal that's twice the woosie they are...

Go to www.KaZaA.com and do a VIDEO file search under "John West Red Salmon" or "Man Fights a Bear" for a great laugh! It's only 1,422 kb (30 seconds), but it'll keep you laughing all night!

[Terriergal]

Very sad. Bears are becoming more and more bold because not enough fear of man has been instilled in them. I would love to make jokes about this person getting what they deserve, but the fresh imagination (incurred by the story) of any human in physical torment like that and realizing they have been so WRONG and now are at the mercy of nature --

It's just not funny. I have run into many dopey people online that tell me "if you leave bears alone they'll leave you alone."

uhuh -- what about those bears that more and more often raid city yards and birdfeeders now? Even if they're normally docile, what happens when they start reproducing in the suburbs, and some kid walking their dog happens upon a mom and her cubs? But no, the DNR just say "leave them alone and they'll go home..."

(never mind that their home is very likely behind your garage.)

I hear New Jersey has been fighting to open a bear season because of the overabundance of them there, and running into a lot of opposition by bear huggers.

[Jorge]

LOL!

[lawdude]

Can we get Sean Penn and Janenne Garofolo for the movie (on location)?

[Calvin Locke]

... newsletter jokes, right?

I get the "Morbid Fact du Jour". The owner is on a literary kick lately, and this is from the last one:

"Shut the door and lock and latch it,
here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet."

Too bad Lizzie Borden wasn't around to help out, or that the couple lacked a convenient door to lock and latch.

Maybe a gun to lock and load (and fire) would have been the best choice.

[ALASKA]

All involved were armed. Heavily. 9mm / 12 ga. with 00 buck and slugs.

Had I been there, I would have wanted one of the 12 gauges, a 9mm is just going to piss a brown/grizzly off.

[LanPB01]

The way I recall it, you're supposed to fight back and yell at grizzly bears, since they're considered more "predatory" than black bears. It's the same logic applied to situations involving mountain lions and other predatory cats - make yourself look bigger, and don't act like a victim. The black bears SUPPOSEDLY grow tired of batting you around if you're playing dead. Not that I'd ever actually try either of these things . . .

[ALASKA]

Park Service Advisory: Hikers are advised to carry pepper spray and bells when going into bear country. The sound of the bells should scare the bears away, and if that doesn't work the pepper spray will.

We call the warning bells "dinner bells" here in AK.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

I will never understand why anyone thinks they can get that close to a wild animal.........

[flying Elvis]

Reminds me of the time I almost won the Darwin award. A girlfriend and I were saddling up some horses in her barn, but a huge "cow" was snorting and pawing around the door, not allowing us out.
My galfriend said, "Go scare that cow away."
I replied, "How do I do that?"
She looked at me as if I was stupid and said, "Go up to it and stomp, that should scare it off."
(It was after all, her livestock, and being the city slicker that I am, I figured she knew which "cows" were friendly and which were not. So I followed her instructions.)
So, I naively went up to the cow and menacingly stomped my foot.

Bad mistake.

The "cow" in question was a Brahma bull, who apparently was not on the same page as we were.

I had no sensation of my feet touching the ground as I hurdled towards the safety of the barn with an enraged bull snorting at my heels.

[Polybius]

Here's an old joke.

Here's another old bear joke. (Should be told to the unsuspecting in a perfectly serious tone and with a straight face.)

A few years ago, a party of Europeans, two Brits and one guy from Czechoslavakia, I believe, went backpacking in the British Columbian Cascades. After they were late returning, search parties went out and found their back-country camp totally wrecked and found a two grizzlys, male and female, near the camp.

The rangers managed to kill one of the bears but the other bear escaped. The necropsy on the bear (turned out to be the female) found human remains in the stomach. A few days later, DNA testing confirmed that the remains were those of the two Brits.

With that the DNA test data and the evidence gathered from the campsite, the rangers concluded that.........

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........the Czech was in the male.

[Sloth]

LOL, found it on the web at http://www.wolfcross.com/bear.html

[Calvin Locke]

...Garofolo ...

Good choice. Wasn't she in that movie "The Truth about Tigers and Bears", and the Bill Murray movie with the elephant?

[Joe Hadenuf]

Forget the audio tape, lets see the video tape of the guy that played with tigers on stage and made um do tricks...

[nmh]

I don't know when these utopians will acknowledge reality. THESE ARE WILD ANIMALS who WILL turn on you. It's just a matter of time. Guess they confirmed that fact.

[bethelgrad]

that's just awefull. yeah, ok. i laughed.

[SeeRushToldU_So]

I have seen what a 2 pound kitty can do to a 260 pound vet, animals are scary when things go badly.

[BikerTrash]

It seems even the animals are getting sick of the animal lovers lately.

Before I get jumped on, I don't mean common, everyday animal lovers...I mean the "animals are equal" whackjobs..

[SBprone]

This is tragic. Really tragic. I really mean it!

So why does it make me so giddy? I guess its just the anticipation of all the great jokes that will come out of this. Treadwell was quite a guy. He entertained animal lovers while he lived and now that he's dead he's entertaining animal shooters and animal eaters. How many of us will be of so much service to our fellow human beings?

I wish him the best, wherever he's gone.