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The ant works hard in the blistering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool for working and laughs and dances and drinks and does drugs and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, MSNBC, ABC and CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Television watchers are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that in a country of such wealth this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing "Its Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton stage a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the TV news stations film them singing "We shall overcome".

Tom Daschle and Hillary Clinton explain in interviews with Peter Jennings and Dan Rather that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both of them demand an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act" retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that are all Democratic appointees. The ant, of course, loses the case.

As the story ends the grasshopper is finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he now lives in - the ant's old house, of course - crumbles around him because he doesn't bother to maintain it. The ant, angry and bitter at being robbed, has disappeared in the snow and is never heard from again. The grasshopper is later found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of vicious spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always always always ALWAYS vote Republican