"'Good morning, everybody,' Davis said. 'This is neat stuff, isn't it?'
'Yes,' droned the children who were spread out on the floor in front of Davis like they were waiting for story time.
'I've been proud to go toe-to-toe with those who want to roll back the environmental clock,' he said.
He reminded the audience that the day before, he had acquired nearly 3,000 acres of land north of the city to prevent it from being developed.
Somehow Davis managed to mispronounce the names of his celebrity guests, calling them 'Mr. and Mrs. Bronson.' Three times.
The first-graders watched with admirable patience as Davis explained each bill, credited the authors of each bill, signed each bill and then held up each identical sheet of white paper for the children to see. It took 20 minutes, but it seemed much longer. Call it, show and tell from hell.
Then Davis asked the reporters, who had the first-graders encircled, 'Anyone want to ask any questions about the four environmental bills we signed here today?'
A lone TV reporter did. Everyone else wanted to ask about Schwarzenegger.
'Can you address the Schwarzenegger thing,' a reporter shouted. 'He's basically admitted to groping these women. What's the effect on your campaign?'
With that reference to improper sexual conduct, the press conference came to a temporary halt as Mrs. Elm's first-grade class was escorted out of the room. One mother chaperoning the field trip was not amused.
'We traveled an hour to get here,' said a red-faced Maureen Fowler, 'I didn't know we were going to be used as a political pawn for Gray Davis.'"
It doesn't get any better than this. This scene above would be hysterically funny in a movie if it weren't such an accurate reflection of a lost cause campaign. I almost feel sorry for Governor Davis. He needs to buy a clue or maybe some luck.
He is a Viet Nam vet. I must remember to someday thank him for serving our country back then.
Two losers:
California Governor Gray Davis (R) disembarks his campaign plane with former Independent candidate Arianna Huffington during a three-day campaign tour of California, in Oakland, October 4, 2003. Davis faces a recall election October 7. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson
Discussing Bill Clinton's groping technique:
California Governor Gray Davis (L) chats with Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) on his campaign plane during a three-day tour of California, October 4, 2003. Davis faces a recall election October 7. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson