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 LOS ANGELES - California Gubernatorial candidate Bob From Accounting declared war on obscure 25-year-old independent candidate Brooke Adams, after failing to convince her to drop out of the race or consider going out on a date with him. Bob referred to Adams as a "whiny, little attention whore and direct byproduct of the horrible education system in California." Adams responded that Bob was an overweight, unemployed a leech on the taxpayers and she would not date him if he was the last man on Earth.
In a message dated 9/18/03 3:16:31 PM, bob@bobfromaccounting.com writes:  Dear Ms. Adams,
I was delighted to see such a nice young woman such as yourself become a candidate for Governor of California. I have spent a considerable time on your impressive website and I saw you on the local news here in Los Angeles so I thought I would write you a letter as both a voter as a fellow candidate. I was wondering if you could spell out in a bit more detail about how you feel about some of the more important issues. I've got my own opinions of course, so don't worry about me stealing all your ideas, but could you tell me about your platform how you feel about all those Prop thingies people are always talking about. It would really help me if I decide to vote for someone other than myself. Thanks! Bob From Accounting
In a message dated 9/18/03 5:13:12 PM, brooke@brookeforgovernor.com writes:
 Dear Bob,
Thank you for your letter. I did recall hearing about you being involved in this election. I do wish you luck. It is important that all of our voices are heard, not just career politicians and movie stars. I wish you all the best. See you on October 7th. Brooke Adams
Vote Brooke Adams for Governor
http://www.brookeforgovernor.com
In a message dated 9/19/03 1:46:23 PM, bob@bobfromaccounting.com writes:
Dear Ms. Adams, Thanks for your note. You didn't answer my questions, however. Even though I'm a candidate and your competition, I think that it's great that we can speak to each other and not start calling each other names and doing all that negative campaigning. Don't you just hate Gray Davis though? He's got a really whiny voice. Do you think he's gay? I sure do. Anyway, let me ask you this -- what would you do to solve this budget crisis stuff that's going on here? I always sounds like such a dunce whenever someone asks me so I thought I'd ask a really smart person like yourself. Bob In a message dated 9/19/03 2:16:45 PM, brooke@brookeforgovernor.com writes:  Dear Bob,
Thanks again for your letter. The main challenges will be providing a clear and concise vision for California, providing leadership and finding where we can cut back . The governor is a leader and part of a population. A challenge will be developing trust, presence and respect among other leaders. Right away I would call a special session of the Legislature to assess the budget and find out what programs and services are unnecessary so I can reduce spending. Then I would propose a flat tax instead of our current tax system. I'm not sure about Gray Davis being a homosexual but if he is, then I strongly disagree with his lifestyle choice. Brooke Adams
Vote Brooke Adams for Governor
http://www.brookeforgovernor.com In a message dated 9/20/03 9:35:29 PM, bob@bobfromaccounting.com writes: Dear Brooke, Wow, that sounded really smart! I was thinking I'd probably do the same stuff mostly. Do you mind if I use a couple of those ideas? Also, I hope you don't mind if I call you Brooke since this is like my third letter to you. Listen, all that stuff you said is really neat but it's really kind of boring don't you think? Let me let you in on a little secret, I'm running for Governor because the donation money I get is helping pay my car payments and visa bill, but you didn't hear that from me, lol! I'm guessing that you're not really doing it for the money but more for the attention. I'm just kidding. But seriously, were you really a cheerleader in high school and homecoming queen? that's really neat. When I was in high school, the prom queen spit on me -- but it wasn't her fault because I covered her with pigs blood as a joke. Anyway, I was thinking we should really pool our resources together. Just think how powerful we would be together. Not together as in dating or anything but together in terms of politics and stuff. What do you think? Bob  In a message dated 9/20/03 10:43:31 PM, brooke@brookeforgovernor.com writes:
Dear Bob, Thanks for your letter. I don't mind if you call me Brooke. I think that what's happening in the state of California is very important and I take my candidacy very seriously. I'm not doing this for attention. Even though I'm only 25 years old, I'm very mature for my age and I'm smarter than most of my friends. I don't have a lot of political experience except my father is a judge and he's really helped me to understand the process. I do wish you luck with your campaign but elections involve individuals and since you are in a sense my competition, I cannot really help you or pool our resources like you say.
Brooke Adams
Vote Brooke Adams for Governor
http://www.brookeforgovernor.com In a message dated 9/20/03 11:50:13 PM, bob@bobfromaccounting.com writes: Dear Brooke, I think you are right. Pooling our resources seems silly because only one of us can win. How many votes do you think you'll get? I think I'll probably get a HUGE amount. I don't want to intimidate you but I've been an accountant for many years even though I'm unemployed right now but I think that I have a lot of experience the voters are really looking for. Anyway, I don't want to tell you what to do or anything but I think it would be a nice gesture if you were to consider ending your campaign and perhaps jump on board the Bob bandwagon. I certainly don't mean that in a sexual way. I just mean that I really will need a chief of staff or someone to handle my campaign donations and perhaps you could have time to do that once you drop out of the race Bob In a message dated 9/21/03 12:18:14 PM, Brooke@brookeforgovernor.com writes:  Dear Bob,
Thanks for your offer but I have no intention of dropping out of the race. In fact, I am very confident that I will be the upset winner on October 7th and will be elected the youngest governor ever elected to this state. Brooke Adams
Vote Brooke Adams for Governor
http://www.brookeforgovernor.com In a message dated 9/21/03 1:43:22 PM, bob@bobfromaccounting.com writes: Dear Brooke, Yeah, that would be neat but I think it's time that you were a bit more realistic. I really think you would be better off quitting and helping my campaign. I don't mean to be rude, but let's face it, you probably don't have much of a chance. It's not your fault. After all, you are the product of the horrible California school system. Don't take this the wrong way but I saw you on the news the other day and you sounded sort of like Forrest Gump. That's a joke. You didn't really sound retarded as much as you sounded drunk. Hey, have you ever done ecstasy? That's a lot of fun, huh? Bob In a message dated 9/21/03 4:53:39 PM, Brooke@brookeforgovernor.com writes: Dear Bob, I haven't ever done drugs and I never will. I'm sorry but I do not have time to be writing you back and forth with these comments. I need to concentrate on winning this campaign which I'm confident I will because I speak for the young generation and nobody else does. Brooke Adams
Vote Brooke Adams for Governor
http://www.brookeforgovernor.com In a message dated 9/21/03 6:18:34 PM, bob@bobfromaccounting.com writes:  Dear Brooke,
Yeah, I hate drugs too -- I was just trying to see what you would say. I saw your old high school photos and I sure hope the other kids didn't tease you back then for being all goody goody and prude . I know how cruel kids can be. I think you have really blossomed nicely because I noticed that in your earlier photos your kind of chubby and gawky looking. Anyway, you look really hot now. I say that with the utmost respect. I especially like what you did with your hair. . So listen, I was thinking that maybe you and I could like grab a drink later and you can tell me about all that stuff about the state budget and all that. Do you have a boyfriend? Bob In a message dated 9/21/03 8:11:14 PM, Brooke@brookeforgovernor.com writes: Dear Bob, Thanks for your offer but you are a stranger and I've actually been invited to speak at a couple of schools and I'm part of a luncheon with Tom McClintock, something which I'm sure you know nothing about since nobody knows who you are and I've been on KTLA, CNN and Fox News. Good luck to you. Brooke Adams
Vote Brooke Adams for Governor
http://www.brookeforgovernor.com In a message dated 9/21/03 8:55:12 PM, bob@bobfromaccounting.com writes: Dear Brooke, I was just thinking like a quick drink. It doesn't even have to be alcohol. Did you know that you can write off meetings and bar bills as campaign expenses? I just learned that. I've been out almost every night having "meetings." Anyway, speaking of drinking, I read that your father is a judge and I know that hasn't been a factor in getting the money or signatures to get on the ballot, but since he probably has some power, do you think he could help me get out of a little traffic ticket if I promise not to tell anyone. It wasn't anything serious and those breathalyzers aren't reliable anyway. Bob In a message dated 9/22/03 9:16:30 AM, Brooke@brookeforgovernor.com writes: Dear Bob, My father can only help with tickets if it happens in Orange County. I don't drink and I am much too busy with all my meetings and appearances to continue talking with you. Again, thank you for your letters but at this time, I ask you to respect my privacy and stop emailing me until after the election on October 7th. Brooke Adams
Vote Brooke Adams for Governor
http://www.brookeforgovernor.com In a message dated 9/22/03 11:21:24 AM, bob@bobfromaccounting.com writes: Dear Brooke, Fine. Be that way. See if I care. You BLEW YOUR CHANCE, BABY! Now, when I win, I'm not going to let you have a position in my cabinet. You are going to be sorry. You think you are so hot, but you're just semi-hot and that's probably going to change soon! Just because you have those artfully done black and white headshots that highlight your girlish figure and flowing blond hair does not mean you are so special! I would NEVER go out with you. I'd rather have sex with Gary Coleman. And I bet he gets more votes than you! See ya in Sacramento. Bob SEND THIS TO A FRIEND! |
