You're so rude you can't move in, apartment owners tell Carly Simon

The Telegraph (U.K.) ^ | 09/29/03 | Marcus Warren

[Pokey78]

Carly Simon, made famous by her song You're So Vain, has been told that she cannot move into one of New York's smartest apartment blocks after allegedly being "rude and disrespectful" at an interview with residents.

The singer is now locked in a bitter legal row over her rejection by the co-op board of the Dakota Apartments, a majestic building overlooking Central Park.

	Carly Simon

Interviews by existing residents are compulsory for anyone seeking to move into most of New York's grandest addresses. But Simon complained that her meeting with the Dakota's board was more akin to "an inquisition". The singer has sued for the return of the £62,000 deposit she paid on a one-bedroom flat.

"The board was rude and accusatory and appeared to have made up its mind before," said her lawyer, Steven Hochberg. It was "very aggressive and impertinent in questioning Ms Simon", he argued in court papers filed for the case.

The board's "attack and attitude may have upset my client who had expected to be met with common courtesy and fair and proper questions, not by an inquisition".

But lawyers for the couple who were selling the £600,000 ($1 million) apartment to the singer argued that she was to blame for the fiasco and the collapse of the sale.

"Ms Simon was rude and disrespectful during her personal interview," wrote Scott Stone, lawyer to the flat's owners. This had been confirmed by "a number of sources".

Appearing before the co-op board is the most intimidating ritual required of buyers on the New York property market and Mariah Carey, Madonna and Calvin Klein have in the past failed to satisfy their exacting demands.

Co-op boards usually expect new buyers to be able to pay in cash.

But few interviews can be as unnerving as those conducted by the board of the Dakota. The neo-gothic building was used as the location for Roman Polanski's horror film Rosemary's Baby and in 1980 John Lennon was shot dead on the street outside after walking out of the block where he and his wife, Yoko Ono, had lived for years.

But such episodes from its past have not stopped the building from becoming one of New York's pre-eminent addresses. Roberta Flack, Lauren Bacall, Leonard Bernstein and Boris Karloff have all made their homes there.

Simon, 58, and the board appear to have fallen out partly over her desire to install a second bathroom in the property. But her lawyer suggested that there was another reason for their failure to see eye to eye.

The board "questioned why someone of her stature would be purchasing a one-bedroom apartment", he said.

It then put it to the singer - who once owned a 12-room flat nearby and now lives in Martha's Vineyard - that she was buying the apartment not for herself but for her children, Mr Hochberg added.

In a city where the ban on pets in some co-op buildings extends to goldfish, the suggestion that Simon wanted to sneak her children into the building could have delivered the coup de grace to her hopes.

[ccmay]

My sympathies are with Carly Simon. I am sick to death of my homeowner's association, and have already bought land with the intent of building a home and moving next year.

We have got to rein in the petty tyrants who control most homowner's associations. They seem to attract a particular type of person, the retired curmudgeon with plenty of time on his hands, whose life's work seems to be telling other people how to live their own lives. I absolutely loathe these jackasses.

-ccm

[annyokie]

What? John Lennon and Yoko could live there but not Carly? Who's is ruder?

[Pan_Yans Wife]

But Carly Simon's children are not toddlers. I am certain they are adults.

[RadioAstronomer]

We have got to rein in the petty tyrants who control most homowner's associations. They seem to attract a particular type of person, the retired curmudgeon with plenty of time on his hands, whose life's work seems to be telling other people how to live their own lives. I absolutely loathe these jackasses.

Indeed! There is a community in my town where if you leave the garage door up for more than the time it takes to move your car in or out, you get a fine of 100$ for each instance. There are people patrolling looking for violations. They are called the garage door police.

I moved far enough out of the city that there are no covenants. (Whew)

[jocon307]

"But Carly Simon's children are not toddlers. I am certain they are adults.'

Oh yes, they certainly must be, hence the problem. No partying at the Dakota, you know.

Ccmay is correct, these are the petty tyrants who are almost worse than Sadamm Hussein. I have already decided that I will never buy a condo, much less a co-op. No goldfish, sheesh!

[BluH2o]

Carly Simon is a screaming liberal who apparently wants to live amongst her own kind. They rejected her ... so who cares ... why are we even discussing it!?

[Ronin]

Why would anyone want to live in such a neo-fascist community?

[Revolting cat!]

Ah, the problems of the idle rich and the nuveau rich and the aspiring rich! Stew in the soup of your own making! My sympathies are with the guys sleeping under the bridge! Sheesh!

[clintonh8r]

That's IT! I will never buy a place in the Dakota!

[RadioAstronomer]

I have no idea, but it was a "choice" neighborhood. LOL!

p.s. Certainly not my choice!

[Revolting cat!]

The North and South Dakota FReepers oughta be PINGed here, no?

[cmsgop]

Why would anyone want to live in such a neo-fascist community?

Im Thinkin there was Clouds in her Coffee..........

[TopQuark]

But Carly Simon's children are not toddlers. I am certain they are adults.

That is not what worries these people. The children, you see, are... of a lower class. They probably cannot put $1M in cash --- not while their mother is alive, at least. Such poor people are, you know, "not one of us."

[TopQuark]

They rejected her ... so who cares ... why are we even discussing it!?

I guess, you missed the point: the story is not really about her.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

That is so strange. From my understanding, Carly Simon's father was extremely wealthy... then she has her successful career, so I would think her children and she have a very high standard of living, and would be considered wealthy.

However, if it is an issue of social class, then I can see the fuss that they are raising. A MUSICIAN'S CHILDREN?! That type of thing. Then again... there are rich people, and there are rich people.

[Last Dakotan]

Yeah, you can get a 1 bedroom apartment here for a lot less than $1 million in North Dakota. Heck, you could buy an entire county for that here.

[VadeRetro]

I can't imagine there's any basis to keep that deposit, which would buy a lot of houses outright.

[walford]

"There are people patrolling looking for violations. They are called the garage door police.

I moved far enough out of the city that there are no covenants."

In the DC area, it is the newer communities that tend to have HOAs or at least the more active ones. The sprawl caused by people trying to run away from city problems has been a vicous cycle. Now people are commuting into town from as far away as Fredericksburg VA and Harpers Ferry WV. One guy I knew was coming in from south of Gettysburg PA.

Another option is to take one of the nice little brick houses that were built in the '50s and fix it up rather than the vinyl-sided monstrosities that are out in sprawlsville. Many of these don't have HOAs. Make sure it doesn't have iron plumbing.

Wherever you're considering buying, ask the realtor if there is an HOA. If yes, no thank you. If enough people did this simple thing, maybe property values would be affected. There are already enough local ordinances prohibiting derilict vehicles, poor sanitation and neglectful maintenance to guard against the 'hood becoming trashy.



[p.s. Let's not get too worried about whether Carly Simon will end up homeless. Somehow I think she'll manage.]

[Revolting cat!]

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