Sex-Starved Marriages - Women Struggle to Cope With Spouses' Low Sex Drives

ABC News ^ | 09/26/03 | John Stossel

[GOPJ]

Since the media doesn't talk about who has this type of problem, we can safely assume it's almost exclusively a passive aggressive liberal thing. Trust me, if it was common among conservatives, the media would shout it from the rooftops.

There's a lot more men with low sex drives than you might think. Thankfully, my husband doesn't have that problem..., but if he did, I would hope he'd have his hormones checked!

[alnick]

You know far too much about your future in-laws.

[IronJack]

In my experience some men do not have sex with their wives because the women are bitchy, condescending control freaks with a mean streak that would scare a badger.

DING DING DING! Stop the wheel, we HAVE a winner!

[Night Hides Not]

A couple can consumed with responsibilities and life's worries and two people need to make time for each other.

Thanks to both of you for expressing similar points. Like so many threads on FreeRepublic, underneath the bad jokes, Registered's (and others) hilarious graphics, and other assorted witticisms, you'll find lessons to live your life by.

So, I'll heed your words, and make a more conscious effort at making more quality time for my better half.

[RoseofTexas]

GAWD, now everybody on the net and across the land KNOW the couples names...I would simply die!

[dfrussell]

Talk to any marriage counselor and they will tell you that "most" of the time when a man loses interest in the spouse he has become "interested" in something else.

Agreed.

However, you might want to ask yourself the obvious question of *WHY* he was interested in something else....

I suspect she was on to something when she wondered what was wrong with her.

In general, males are more interested in sex than are women. Look at viagra sales.

That said, a viagra the size of a hocky puck couldn't make most guys rise for an Andrea Dworkin etc.

Women can fake it. Men can't. If a guy says he's not interested in sex, odds are he's lying about it or neglected to vocalize the "with you."

And, yeah, they guy might have not been anything to talk about either, so don't start.....

[Steve_Seattle]

Two theories: (1) Most (more than 50%) men's libido significantly drops off in their 40's; and (2) sometime in their 40's, most (more than 50%) women decide it's ok to be dowdy, fat, short-haired, spinsterish, and sexually unappealing.

[Joe Hadenuf]

My wife and I have been together for 20 years, married the last 10 of those, and have a sex-less marriage, essentially. I think the last time was 2 years ago.

When we were younger and thinner, sex was fairly abundant. We once did it in my folk's bathroom. But we've both gained weight, and I'm convinced that is the primary source of the problem. I don't really find her sexually attractive and I'm sure she finds me similarly, though neither of us would dream of admitting this to the other for fear of hurt feelings.

Go down to the store, and buy yourself some Margaritas mix. Come home and you guys drink 6 or 10 Margaritas each. Soon she'll start looking pretty good, and she'll think your someone else.

Have a good party....

[Servant of the 9]

Ping! Thought y'all could spice up the thread.

Want us to extend a helping hand to these poor wimmin?

So9

[vetvetdoug]

viagra the size of a hockey puck
If that was true then there would be a plethora of men that wouldn't have a wrinkle on their body.

[vetvetdoug]

viagra the size of a hockey puck
If that was true then there would be a plethora of men that wouldn't have a wrinkle on their body.

[Interious]

"Back-up system"

Could explain this, in detail? Please.

[olivia3boys]

I agree with many of the men's comments on this thread. Wives need to stop nagging/whining, to try to be interesting in bed, to not gain 100 lbs after marriage. . .

This is not rocket science.

And 3 children and a mortgage is no excuse. Making love a few times a week doesn't take up all that much time.

[AnalogReigns]

A lot of these problems, if they are not physically related, sound like ones of not listening to, or disobedience to the Bible.

Christian married couples are COMMANDED to have sex...it’s a duty to one's partner.

"For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (I Corinthians 7:4, 5)

A spouse who doesn't....frustrating their partner, just because they "don't feel like it" is not being loving to that partner. And, they're being disobedient to God.

We have His word on it.

[misterrob]

Ummm.....

here's one way of explaining it...

Ever heard the expression, Put your money where your mouth is?

[mewzilla]

Making love a few times a week doesn't take up all that much time.

Uh oh. Really? Does this mean we're doing something wrong? ;)

[Interious]

Why would you even bother with such a reply?

[Joe Hadenuf]

Why would you even bother with such a reply?

We'll forget the the margarita mix, and buy a couple of six packs. Sheesh!

[ChemistCat]

Bloom where you're planted.

You can 'what if' yourself into a long, lonely, cold, miserable life. If you wouldn't give everything you own to be happy with the person you're with, then leave (hopefully, hopefully before you make babies)and find someone you WOULD give everything you own to be with.

If you would, then GIVE EVERYTHING to be happy with the person you're with! Don't hold back out of pride!

I read that a male can imprint himself erotically with just twelve times viewing something while you-know-whatting. (That explains unnatural desires--homosexuality and child molestation, and also fetishes, I think.) They did the study with photographs of tires. After twelve times erotically viewing TIRES men had a strong physiological response to images of tires! SO you know what you need to do, guys? Teach yourself to find your wife attractive AS SHE IS. Don't what-if yourself and her into a ruined marriage. Don't go out and make children and catch diseases in extramarital affairs--wickedness will never be happiness. There are so many obese people around right now that it is NOT a deviant condition for this time and place, and is statistically inevitable for people who for various physical and environmental reasons cannot lose weight easily. Reject that beautiful girl you married because she gained weight having your babies? That's incredibly sad!

I don't know if it's as easy for women to get back desire for a man, but you know, we don't tend to fall out of love simply because of overweight. There has to be some abusive behavior in the mix before we fall out of love.

(I am assuming that love was an initial state for the marriages in question. That may be an extreme assumption today.)

[SauronOfMordor]

Some years later, a deacon in our church left his wife and shacked up with an average looking younger woman. Naturally, we were all shocked. I was even more shocked when our 70 year old pastor said he wasn't surprised. "What he did was wrong, no doubt about it. But if you had spent an hour in their home, listening to her talk, you wouldn't be surprised he left her - only that he stayed as long as he did."

A woman with average looks is much more attractive than a "beautiful" woman with a bad attitude