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How to expose and torment liberals (editorial)
DebateUSA.com ^ | 9-18-03 | Jon Alvarez

Posted on 09/26/2003 10:19:33 AM PDT by BostonianRightist

How To Expose and Torment Liberals Ever put a dab of peanut butter on the end of your dog's nose? While some consider teasing man's best friend to be a mean source of amusement, it is highly entertaining to watch their frenzied reaction and it ultimately does not hurt them. Another source of entertainment, and one that does not involve man's best friend, is tormenting liberal Americans. These are the same people that over the past year have prided themselves on their mean-spirited attacks on President Bush, so you shouldn't feel bad. We could be talking about Hillary Clinton, that bandana-wearing, anti-war activist who still lives in his parent's basement, or even the person working next to you. These activities are aimed at not only providing a source of amusement, they are helpful in rooting out closet liberals. Either way, you're sure to have hours of fun and will be able to determine if those you know are either America-loving patriots or self-loathing liberals that prefer to pledge allegiance to the United Nations.

Let's begin with our exercise with introducing you to some basic vocabulary every patriotic American should have at their disposal. Sometimes you can determine if a person is in actuality a liberal simply by using these choice words in your discussions with them. Try interjecting some of these "hot words" into your conversations which will surely garner a negative reaction from a liberal: God, patriotism, stars and stripes, USA, individual responsibility, capitalism, the Pledge of Allegiance, the Ten Commandments, God Bless You (one of my favorites, say it when they sneeze!), love of country, and war. If you do happen to determine that someone is a liberal, you can simply use these words around him or her and watch as they twitch and flitter about nervously. This can be not only a source of aggravation to them, but will provide you with hours of fun and amusement.

Another method that is useful in smoking out and tormenting liberals is to make reference to items or events that are a part of our culture and heritage. Invite a liberal to a local parade honoring troops returning from Iraq. This is particularly effective if it is either on a military base or along Main Street of Mayberry R.F.D. Ask if they'd like to contribute towards a care package you are sending to the troops overseas. If you happen to be driving in the same car, pop in a CD containing certain songs by Toby Keith or Darryl Worley. If you are fortunate enough to know a Hollywood celebrity, ask that person if they are planning on going overseas as part of a USO tour. Liberals will also freak out if you take them to a high school football game where they still play the national anthem prior to kickoff. Better yet, simply wave an American flag around, even one of those little ones you can buy virtually anywhere nowadays. Watching liberals recoil from such a display is so much fun, it will remind you of those old Dracula films, when he would convulse when confronted with a cross.

Since we've made the comparison between vampires and liberals, recoiling in fear and disgust to sacred images, let's list some personalities who could be likened to vampire hunters by liberals. The head vampire hunter would have to be Ann Coulter. Liberals admittedly hate President Bush, that much is a given. He's the moral equivalent of holy water to them. However, liberals might as well burst into flames when confronted by Ann Coulter. They foam at the mouth; their heads spin around 360 degrees, and begin to speak in some form of ancient language when they run up against Ms. Coulter. Others that give liberals fits, thus granting them instant membership to the Vampire Hunter Hall Of Fame: Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and Michael Savage. Of course, the meeting hall for the Vampire Hunter League of Justice would be Fox News.

So there you have it folks, a do-it-yourself guide to exposing and tormenting the liberals that hide amongst us. We know they are out there; sometimes it's just hard to spot them. Some of them pose as hard-working Americans, hiding the fact that at night they log on to their computers to receive their instructions from MoveOn.org on how to proceed with handing over U.S. autonomy to the United Nations. If you find yourself suffering from a guilty conscience for tormenting liberals, just pick up a copy of the New York Times and read the latest editorials bashing our noble president. That should put your mind at ease, along with the knowledge that just this week Saddam Hussein quoted the Democratic candidates in his latest taped message broadcast on al-Jazeera. As hard as it may be, we must not let up on liberals as they continue their assault on our country. We must expose them and drive the stake home in order to defeat them.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: jonalvarez; liberals; torment
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To: DoctorMichael
The rest of the evening was quite awkward

You didnt go out with her again did you?

It would talk quite a looker for me to go out with a girl that refused to stand for the Anthem. We dont have women that pretty in Boston, some have mustaches that put mine to shame.

21 posted on 09/27/2003 5:55:23 PM PDT by BostonianRightist (Any war against this "Religion of Peace" is a war I will support)
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To: BostonianRightist
You didnt go out with her again did you?

Unfortunately, yes. Our 'mutual friends' were quite persistent in their attempts to pair us up. We were in the same building so it was hard to avoid one another. This occurred in 1991 and I was MUCH more resigned and accepting of this kind of crap from liberals than today.

Now, I'm outspoken. Which explains why I'm still single.......>LOL<. Single academic women, for the most part, are Lefists. There ARE plenty of Women out there that I come into contact with, however..........there are precious few Ladies.

It would talk quite a looker for me to go out with a girl that refused to stand for the Anthem.

She was kinda 'slovenly-hippy-butch' and not attractive to me at all. I already had a good indication previously on her weltenschaung{'world-view'}. At that point in time she was attempting to appear more 'upscale-feminine', which I saw through.......which was why I hadn't given her any attention previously.

22 posted on 09/28/2003 5:34:23 AM PDT by DoctorMichael (Thats my story, and I'm sticking to it.)
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To: Travis McGee
I love walking through Barnes and Noble, proudly clutching my latest copy of Shotgun News...especially if it has a pic of a particularly nasty-looking black rifle on the cover. In my peripheral vision, the looks of disdain and disgust are priceless!

In smoking out libs, I also recomend using words such as "waitress", "stewardess", "actress", and "Hilldebi**h". Works every time.

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

23 posted on 09/28/2003 5:43:31 AM PDT by wku man ("I'm not a hero...I just like hitting people in the head!" Nelson Munz)
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To: BostonianRightist
However, liberals might as well burst into flames when confronted by Ann Coulter. They foam at the mouth; their heads spin around 360 degrees, and begin to speak in some form of ancient language when they run up against Ms. Coulter.

Hmmm...interesting. To be fair, she elicits quite a different physical reaction in me.


24 posted on 09/28/2003 5:56:19 AM PDT by SkyPilot
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To: wku man
Yep, it's amazing the reaction that the gun mags get from the libs!
25 posted on 09/28/2003 8:56:08 AM PDT by Travis McGee (----- www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com -----)
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To: Travis McGee
Yep, it's amazing the reaction that the gun mags get from the libs!

They hate them in their favorite haunts, which are usually reserved for flower magazines, alternative medicine tracts and funky newpapers featuring advertisments for strange sexual partners and self-awareness religions.

So, drop off your old Issues of Guns and Ammo and American Rifleman into the magazine piles at your local latte shop!

26 posted on 09/28/2003 9:19:29 AM PDT by Gritty
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To: BostonianRightist
A stark amateur.

Pick on the "first pervert" "accused serial rapist" "convicted perjuror." Mention Mary Jo Kopechne. JFK turning the White House into a whore house.

There should be a separate list for ways to drive liberals nuts.

27 posted on 09/28/2003 9:28:16 AM PDT by Temple Owl
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To: Tribune7
ping
28 posted on 09/28/2003 9:31:02 AM PDT by Temple Owl
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To: SkyPilot
Know a poll watcher for 2002 who had fun with an ann coulter book. democrats hate criticism the way cockroaches hate the light.
29 posted on 09/28/2003 9:38:15 AM PDT by longtermmemmory (Vote!)
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To: Owl_Eagle; brityank; Physicist; WhyisaTexasgirlinPA; GOPJ; abner; baseballmom; Willie Green; Mo1; ..
Good one. Ping
30 posted on 09/28/2003 9:42:21 AM PDT by Tribune7
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To: Gritty
If I was young and single, and I frequented latte shops, I'd make an effort to flirt with hippie chicks, and then casually pull out a G&A to read, just to freak them out.
31 posted on 09/28/2003 10:26:14 AM PDT by Travis McGee (----- www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com -----)
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To: BostonianRightist
bump
32 posted on 09/28/2003 11:24:27 AM PDT by Fzob (Why does this tag line keep showing up?)
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To: Temple Owl
Mary Jo Kopechne would have turned 63 this year.
Meanwhile, the fat pompous drunken bastard who drowned her is, of course, a Liberal Icon.
33 posted on 09/28/2003 11:31:34 AM PDT by TheGrimReaper (o)(o)
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