My daughter is an (Episcopalian) altar server. She is a serious, devout girl (with a special devotion to St Maria Goretti), and no raving feminist, steroids or no. I assure you she takes her this year's promotion to within the rail very seriously (only 4th year acolytes and above - everybody else is crucifer, torchbearer, tacky felt banner toter, etc.) She doesn't giggle, her hair is firmly up, and you can see that she is completely concentrated on her service. While it seems slightly frivolous, the only thing I can compare her to is a very good waiter in a small, quiet restaurant - very quiet, very unobtrusive, never putting herself forward but always in the right place at the right time with whatever the celebrant needs. And, after all, doesn't the Lord's Supper deserve the very best service? (Mel Brooks to the contrary notwithstanding . . . ;-) "will you have a beverage with that?" )
Because of all the heretical brouhaha in the Episcopal Church, we will be going either to a orthodox Anglican church (if an orthodox wing is established in October by Canterbury) or signing up for RCIA. She will be disappointed if she is not allowed to serve -- but she has done Altar Guild as well and performs that duty competently and well (rinsing the vessels and plate, cleaning candlesticks, etc.), so she has an alternative if the local bishop does not permit female altar servers.
BTW, the way our church avoided the problem of discouraging boys from altar service is to have sex-segregated teams. It seems to work pretty well.
You say you may leave your church, I don't blame you. But since Maria Goretti was a devout Catholic, and it was her very Catholicity that made her proclaim: "No, I cannot do this, it will offend God", to her attacker, why not follow in Maria Goretti's footsteps and become a Catholic?