Man Wants Biggest Organ for His Living Room

newsmax.com ^ | 9-20-03 | With Carl Limbacher and NewsMax.com Staff

[Dr. Zoo]

Hopefully you are being sarcastic.

Take a look at MOST of the comments, and you will see the "preverts"

Even some after your comment to me are not musically oriented.

[MozartLover]

Stop me if you've heard this one.;^)

If Organists Wrote the Wedding Column

On Saturday, the fifth of August, at well after the stated time of 2:00 P.M., Ann Jones and Bob Smith were married at Our Lady of Sorry Acoustics. The groom wore a black suit and the bride wore a dress. The organist's shoes, in tasteful basic black, were by Organmaster.

The organ is a rebuild by Harvey Piston Schotz VI of a 2m Whisk which contains pipework from the original Ox tracker that existed before the tragic fire. The harmonic flute is to die for and the cor anglais is like buttah, but the combination action is unreliable.

There were attendants all over the place, but the organist still got only 3/4 of the way through "The Prince of Denmark's March" with no repeats, ending in the dominant. That the 8' Tuba was the central feature of the processional was obvious; this could be seen on the smiling faces of everyone in attendance.

After a few minutes of some speaking by some clergy-type, the organist played the first four phrases of the Schubert "Ave Maria" (in E-flat) on the Gemshorn 8' while the couple did something. Later, the bride's sister's best friend's adopted niece breathily sang "The Wedding Song" from the balcony, without interludes. (The organist left them in.) This didn't matter because she used the microphone, obliterating the subtle chiff of the Gedeckt 8'.

The recessional was the Mendelssohn, played on a satisfying plenum. It was played in ABABA form to fit the length of the movement.

The guests talked throughout the postlude, but the organist added stops as the noise level increased, masterfully maneuvering each drawknob, coupler, and reversible WITHOUT MISSING A SINGLE NOTE OF THE WIDOR!!! This noble feat did not go unnoticed by the congregation, as attested to by the audible sighs of relief which were heard as soon as the music stopped.

The bride and groom went to college somewhere, but they did not take any music appreciation courses. After their honeymoon somewhere, they plan to blend into suburbia, where the highlight of each year will undoubtedly be the replaying of their wedding video and reliving each musical moment.

[shaggy eel]

,,, grand, just grand.

[RadioAstronomer]

You have mail :-)

[fqued]

If we define large organ as any organ of 40-50 or more ranks, then there are among those plenty of fine organs.
There are some truly fine pipe organ builders in North America and in Europe today.

Any metropolitan area probably has over a hundred pipe organs of which, in my opinion, there will be a good dozen of high quality.

Most people are unaware of the number of pipe organs around, but you will find them in churches, auditoriums, most colleges and universities have at least one, and some have several.

Finest new organ I have seen was recently installed in an auditorium at University of Denver. It has about 45 ranks, was built by Shuke, a German firm, and had exquisite mechanical action along with superior voicing.

[dighton]

I got knocked about on the Barbary Coast,
And me voice it ain't no sich melliferous horgan,
But yet I can state, and I'm not one to boast,
That some of the gals is dead keen on old Morgan.

[dighton]

Stop me if you've heard this one.;^)

Never, it's a classic.

[ovrtaxt]

There is simply nothing like pipes and power!

The lovely and talented Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute, agrees. He recently released a collection of Metallica cover tunes.

[ovrtaxt]

Of course I'm being sarcastic! (/sarcasm)

You gotta admit, it's a funny article!

[Loyalist]

PING

[MozartLover]

One more...........

This indeed would be the true ..."Wedding from Hell."

Dear Bandleader:

We look forward to your performance at our daughter's wedding. If you don't mind, we would like to request a few of our favorite songs. Please play these during the reception:

A Keith Jarrett composition from his solo series. Please arrange it for full ensemble in the keyof B but nothing in 4/4 please.

Mahavishnu Orchestra, "Dance of the Maya" and please have the guitarist play John Mclaughlin's solo from the live performance Nov. 16, 1972 at Chrysler Arena. My wife and I were at that show and we liked his use of polyrhythms.

One of John Coltrane's duets with Pharaoh Sanders. Our guests love high register tenor saxes.

We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast would be nice. So please play "The Rite of Spring." We like a tempo of about 1/4 note = 93 and transpose it down 3 half-steps - it will be so much more appropriate for this occasion in the slightly lower register.

Then for the candle lighting ceremony, please play Frank Zappa's "The Grand Wazoo." The original key of B flat, would be fine but my cousin Jeannie would like to sing the baritone sax solo in the key of D--she has kind of a high voice.

When my new son-in-law takes off the garter, please just a little of Varese's "Ionization." It's such a funny piece, we think it would go over real well. Much better than "The Stripper."

And for the bride and groom's first dance, please slow things down a bit by doing Barber's "Adagio For Strings." It's so much better than "We've Only Just Begun" or the "Anniversary Waltz."

When my wife and I join in the first dance, could you segue to Thelonius Monk's "Ruby, My Dear" - it's in honor of my wife's grandmother whose name was Ruby. It would mean so much to the family.

Thanks for all your help. Depending on the outcome we'll certainly be happy to recommend your band to our friends We'll have your check for the fee of $250 (minus our expenses in contacting you of $12.50 ) by the end of next month: we're a little short as the young lady doing the balloon arch wanted her $1,850 in advance and the DJ had to be paid up front his $2,500 as normal. Our daughter assured us that your love of music was greater than your need for money, and that you would welcome the exposure you would get from playing this wedding.

Before you leave, please feel free to ask the caterer for a snack sandwich and a soda (the bottles are returnable or you can pay the deposit to the butler). Please use the back entrance to avoid disturbing the guests.

Sincerely yours,
Alice Rockefeller Gates

[Dr. Zoo]

Yes I see the humor, and thanks for informing this teflon brained person your post was sarcazm...LOL

But I am a unique muzic lover so these organs are really a joy to me.

[fqued]

Yes, I do voice pipes.

(By the way, I have worked in the pipe organ business off and on for twenty years, have a law degree from Cornell University, and sell antiquarian books. so if anyone says ahh, but you're that lawyer dude, or that guy that was talking about ooold books--well, we are all multi-talented)

Mostly our small company does maintenance, repair, and restoration. I have done some voicing, and there are about as many approaches to voicing pipes as there are voicers.

Older organs, those built before 1900, often needed to be pumped by hand to raise the wind. The organist did not do this, but had a helper whose job that was.

However, large mechanical action organs could require a rather heavy touch, becuase your fingers were physically opening the windways. Various builders had various methods for solving that problem.

Theatre organs are largely a thing of the past, as the name implies, they were used in theatres during the era of silent movies. But there are many theatre organ afficianados around who will hotly dispute that first sentence.

[3catsanadog]

OK, I'm outta here. . . .

[sinkspur]

If you're a pipe organ afficionado, perhaps you can recall reading about the hockey game back in the 50s or 60s in the old Chicago Stadium.

There was a rather large Wurlitzer organ installed for interludes and so forth during the Black Hawk games.

The outcome of a Black Hawk game occasioned a near-riot in the stands, and the constabulary was unable to bring it under control.

Sensing his moment, the organist punched the sforzando stops and slammed down on two keyboards at full crescendo.

Windows were blown out of the building, and the riot was quelled.

[Graybeard58]

"This guy seems to have taken his spam emails too seriesly"!

This could be hugh.

[birbear]

I like to put tulips on my organ.

[ovrtaxt]

Windows were blown out of the building, and the riot was quelled.

Cool. Better than a metal concert! I'm having a real epiphany here, BTW. I figured this would be nothing but a thread of silly wanker jokes, and you organ nerds showed up and hijacked it! I feel outnumbered. :)

[ovrtaxt]

"Tulips? That's always been a favorite of mine, just fabulous!"

[fqued]

Nat as good a story, but happened a month ago in Boulder, Colo. the organist was playing away, there was a mighty bang and thump and the organ went dead. Organist thought the organ had blown up. Nothing so dramatic--a "bag" winding connector had blown out, all the reservoirs bottomed out with a bang, and obviously there was no wind to play any pipes.