Trying to offer a bit of insight and discussion, which you are clearly incapable of doing, since I had to read a few of your responses in the thread before realizing that your not happy that a business acted like a business.
In honor of you, I'm going to post very slowly.
Ready?
Are you sure?
The Onion is a business, not a charity.
Did you catch that? If not, I'll repeat once more :
The Onion is a business, not a charity.
If you don't like businesses, capitalism, etc., not too far off the coast of Florida, there is a small island nation that you would greatly enjoy.
If you need an explanation of the difference between a business and a charity, there are several here who own and run their own businesses, and are quite successful. I'm sure if you post a vanity thread about it, they can help you out.