And where were the Confederate armies? Hood decided not to face Sherman and headed north, to be destroyed by Thomas. Joe Johnston was brought back from the ranks of the "living dead" to command an force that tried to outmaneuver Sherman but couldn't, wouldn't, and didn't face Shermans until after Charleston had been taken and Sherman turned north to join Grant.
Who left the civilians to face the wrath of Sherman's Bummers? The elite and the military of the Confederacy. Why? Because Hood was stupid, Johnston spent too much time looking for his "Chancellorsville/Fredericksburg", and the Southern government was eating its young in defeat.
Just like these modern Cassandras (who willingly accepted all of the benefits of the peacetime Army but somehow didn't realize that the Army is constructed for war), it was the southern wives and mothers who complained to their soldier husbands and sons and led to large numbers of deserters, abandoning the cause to alleviate their suffering. In the end, they brought their destruction on themselves.
All of that in other words, "We can't be blamed for all the crimes we committed against civilians. The confederates made us do it by failing to stop us."
I suppose you also blame rape victims for not being able to hold off their attackers during the crime.