A little late-night humor for y'all.

9-17-03 | 4mycountry and the dude who wrote the original joke

[4mycountry]

*radio comes on* *music plays*

RADIO VOICE: And now for the "moral of the day". Listen close kiddies, and you, too, will become a better, wiser person. Enjoy...!

*more music*

ANOTHER RADIO VOICE:

Once apon a time, there was a nice Sunday School. The people were excited, because Hillary Clinton was coming!

--We now interrupt this program to bring you a message from Bucket Barf Bags.
If your tummy gets queesy,
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We now return to our regularly scheduled program.--

Hillary showed up at the school, and she and the Sunday School teacher started talking. One of the little girls was making quite a fuss, screaching and yelling and throwing rocks. Every time the little girl threw a tantrum, she made a very ugly, scary face that frightened the little bitty children.

"Why don't you so talk to her, ma'am? We've tried to get her to stop being so angry and making faces, and I'm sure she'd listen to you!" said the teacher to Hillary.

"Hmm, I suppose you're right. Ok, I'll do it!" said Hillary, and she walked over to the little girl.

"Little girl?" said Hillary. The little girl looked at her. "Yeah, whaddaya want?" she snapped.

"I noticed that you were making an angry face." said Hillary. "I don't think you should do that. When I was your age, I made fusses too, when I was with other kids. My mother told me that if I kept making ugly, scary faces, my face would stick like that, and I'd have that face forever!"

The girl stood for a second or two, silently, and then said, "Well, lady, you can't say you weren't warned!!"

[4mycountry]

RADIO VOICE: Hahaha, wasn't that a good story? The moral? If it does take a village to raise a child, don't send the village idiot to do it. See you next week!

--This story brought to you by Bucket Barf Bags. Bucket Barf Bags, by land or sea or air, we're here for you.--

;)

[cavtrooper21]

Hold off on the coffee (or other morning beverage).

[11B3]

A first grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade.
My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer
office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he
would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first
grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade should know. The principal looks
at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third grade." Ms Brooks says to the principal,
"Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Harry, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Harry: "Pockets."
Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms Brooks: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut"
Ms Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.
Harry: "Bubblegum"
Ms Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Harry: "Shake hands".
Ms Brooks: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
Harry: "Yep".
Ms Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do".
Harry: "Tent"
Ms Brooks: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first".
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Harry: "Wedding Ring"
Ms Brooks: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good".
Harry: "Nose"
Ms Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver".
Harry: "Arrow"
Ms Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send Harry to university, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"