A New Kind of Family
Wednesday August 13, 2003
"We are pregnant," announces Barrie, a proud father-to-be, who looks with uncertainty at his partner of 15 years. "The baby is due on August 19." They had agreed to keep the baby's name secret for the time being but, like most expectant fathers, he can barely contain himself. Tony smiles gently and nods at him. "We are going to call him Orlando," Barrie squeals. But these are no ordinary parents; these are the Drewitt-Barlows - and there is not a bump or stretchmark between them.
Almost four years ago, Tony and Barrie Drewitt-Barlow made history. They were the nation's first openly gay surrogate baby parents, and the first men to be jointly listed on a birth certificate, after they won a legal battle in the US, where the children were born. Between them the couple fertilised 24 eggs that had been harvested from egg donor Tracie Matthews, and two embryos were carried to term by the birth mother, Rosalind Bellamy: a sexless ménage à quatre that resulted in the births of twins Aspen and Saffron Drewitt-Barlow.
For all the costly procedures, press intrusion, criticism, battles with the Home Office and even kidnap threats, they enjoyed parenthood enough the first time round to try again. This time they have used eggs from the original harvesting, but Orlando will have a different birth mother because Bellamy talked to the tabloids.
Both being men, the odds were stacked against the Drewitt-Barlows becoming parents together. They explored the adoption route, which was barred to them because they were a gay couple. But rather than crush their will, rejection spurred them forwards. "When I was told I wasn't fit to adopt, the determination it gave me to have kids... " says Barrie, his voice trailing away in anger.
The Drewitt-Barlows are pregnant with contradictions: part social experiment, part frontiersmen, and part future-family, but in so many ways a deeply traditional unit. Says Tony: "The best thing is when the kids throw their arms around you and say, 'Dad, I really love you,' and they give you a big kiss. It's the most amazing, indescribable thing."
Twins Aspen (left) and Saffron Drewitt-Barlow cuddle with surrogate mother Rosalind Bellamy in California Dec. 10, 1999.