I don't think of my country as "selfish" or "spoiled." Nor do I feel gratitude to the military in particular for my freedoms. I feel grateful to God.
Around the turn of the century, many Americans had beautiful iron fireplace screens or cast iron stoves. During WW2, most of these disappeared into the smelter to make the planes my Dad used to fly. These are now considered "rare" antiques. I don't feel particularly grateful to the people who chose to "sacrifice" these items, either.
My Grandad refused to take a cent from the WPA at the height of the depression. Once again...that was his choice. It meant that he and my dad (as a kid) ocassionally endured real hunger.I had to travel to Taiwan to know what really hungry people look like. The winos on the streets of the US have chosen their hunger. That's their right.
What I do feel gratitude for is the legacy I received from a group of men who for different reasons made a choice. They sat and reasoned that men should be free to govern themselves. They chose the best that 2000 years of history could offer and attempted to construct a form of limited government that would allow a man to choose his own path. Making us free to choose a life that is pleasing to God, without compulsion.
It is only rational and logical that men are willing to put their lives at risk to defend such an endeavor. No soldier ever "wastes" his life. He passes on a legacy to his children. That legacy is the sure knowledge that there are things in this world more precious than life.
Shortly after 9/11, when the "Department of Homeland Security" was first proposed, Peggy Noonan wrote a great article objecting to the name. It has never been about the real estate. It's about the ideas. The only "waste" is living as an American without ever realizing what it means.