[TontoKowalski]

For the would-be metrosexual, Flocker first recommends high-quality underwear and socks, a good haircut, and getting rid of excess ear or nostril hair.

Well, my barber always asks me if I want to get rid of the monkey ears. That's his term for all that hair that has mysteriously started growing on my ears the past few years. He doesn't do noses, though, but it's still a pretty good service for $8.

[Huck]

Overdue for my $10 haircut. Let's see. I take 10 minutes to get ready in the morning. I shower at least once a week whether I need it or not. I like bass fishing, bass fishing, and bass fishing. I can make pizza and grill meat. What do the Madison Ave. homos think of that?

[Pest]

I used to go to a barber until he retired. Now I go to a local salon. I'll pay the extra 5 bucks to have a nice lookin' lady press her boobs against my shoulder!