Posted on 09/08/2003 5:53:20 PM PDT by shaggy eel
Youth Affairs Minister John Tamihere has marked Father's Day by lashing out at how Kiwi blokes are treated in today's society, saying men are becoming too scared to act like men.
And the father of five says there is nothing wrong with men leaving the toilet seat up.
Tamihere said he was seriously concerned at a cultural creep that had left men too scared or embarrassed to exercise their manliness, such as going for a beer with their mates.
A more sinister result was there was too much suspicion cast over men in matters such as marriage breakups, child custody rights and allegations of impropriety.
"Basically I'm sick of men having to apologise for having a penis," he told the Sunday Star-Times.
"Look at what goes on in the family court, that is a system that always presumes the man is guilty.
"When it comes down to making a call between a mother and a father you know the odds are going to be stacked against the man."
On a lighter note, Tamihere said men should have the right to leave the toilet seat up at home.
"There's nothing wrong with that at all . . . it makes it's easier to clean," he said.
"And I'm told it gives the house better feng shui."
Tamihere said it was important to note on Father's Day that some fathers were forced away from their children and were allowed only supervised contact with their kids.
"You know mum's going to get custody and the guy ends up being supervised by some geek who doesn't have kids."
Tamihere said Kiwi blokes were largely good men and good dads, but social pressure stopped them from exercising their manliness.
"I'll give you an example: I don't go to nightclubs much these days, but when you do, you see a woman grab a guy's arse and she's called `assertive' - if a man does it he's a `sexual harasser'.
"The first thing we have to address is that there's something wrong there. Maybe the problem is men bunker down, they don't talk about things that affect them. Women talk."
Tamihere said he expected some people would take offence at his comments, but he wanted to spark debate: "I'm not anti-feminist, or anything like that. I'm just being pro-male."
Asked who he thought were good fathers, Tamihere cited former sportsman and TV star Matthew Ridge and All Black prop Kees Meeuws.
"With Matthew, sure his marriage didn't work out, and that's not uncommon these days, but he tries, he makes an effort to be with his kids.
"With Kees, he's got five kids and he's just a great dad."
Tamihere said cultural creep had invaded everyday life, whereby men had to ask permission to enjoy a beer with their mates.
"Nowadays you've got to get a late pass from the wife and a long leash. There's something not very healthy about that."
The youth affairs minister has five children, aged between two and 17. In August 2001 he left a select committee meeting to be with his wife Awerangi when she had their fifth child.
Awerangi said her husband was good at some of the "softer things" of being a bloke and devoted a lot of time to his family despite his political commitments.
"He is quite clear what he wants to do on the work front and also making sure he is being supportive.
"He is able to do both well but it is not easy. He's quite strong on disciplining his diary and allocates full weekends to family and makes sure he has no political appointments whatsoever. He has a good sense of security and family."
While Tamihere said Kiwi men should assert themselves, his wife revealed he always put the toilet seat down.
"I've never said anything about it or asked him to put it down, it's just something he has always done."
,,, wait until he moves to a decent Party. He's with Labour at present and voting for them is a no-no.
Same thing here in Missouri, and in Maryland where I used to live.
,,, my mum taught me to do that from the time I started school. She also taught me to walk on the outside of the kerb when walking with a woman, push her chair in for her at a dinner table, close her car door for her etc. Real women know what this is all about and appreciate such things. I'm teaching the very same things to my ten year old son, but I'll do everything within my power to make sure he dates young women who are worthy of such courtesies without living his life for him.
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