The nine Dim prez candidates will start in Dallas, travel to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, back to Houston and down to Brownsville on the border. They'll proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso then to Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. They turn back east to Abilene, Fort Worth and Dallas.
Each person will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads: "I'm gay. I'm a vegetarian. I voted for Al Gore. I love the Dixie Chicks. Your BBQ sucks, and the Alamo was a waste of time. I want Hillary in 2004, and I'm here to confiscate your guns!"
The contestant that makes it back to Dallas, alive, wins.