But of course the key is to teach all of our children what marital love really is. We try to make this an active discussion in our home when we can, particularly with our 15 year old daughter. Real love, we point out to her, is when you give up sleep, the last brownie, make a sacrifice and never complain about it, forgive, apologize, whatever the occasion brings us the opportunity to point out.
Great points. Now how do you sort out a normal person from someone who is pathological? Most are accomplished liars, who actually believe their own lies. If they are not completely estranged from their families, the family members you'll meet are enmeshed in their own psycodrama and will support this emotional vampire.
A young person, who perhaps has had an unhealthy role growing up, such as emotional caretaker for a parent, is at high risk. Your internal warning system goes off and you heed it. You instinctively avoid them as "not quite right". Not always with people conditioned at an early age to having their boundaries violated. They are insidious and will find your buttons and push them.
Avoiding them can be impossible. Terri had a weight problem through high school that damaged her self asteem. No doubt Michael zeroed in on it. I don't think in this instance it has to do with reforming bad boys, or girls for that matter; the perpetrator creates the role that they can provide the missing piece in their victim's lives.
JMO