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Mine already had most of his vaccinations by the time he was diagnosed. After consulting with his doctor, the only one I put the skids on totally was the second MMR. She agreed, why take the chance, especially since he'd already had the one? She did convince me to do the chicken pox shot, which I was a little worried about. (Chicken pox at a later age can be devastating, according to her, so I didn't fight that.)

Caitlin, my girl, did not have any MMR. I do fully plan on vaccinating her, just not at this time, probably after aged 3.

I'm finding this thread very informative. I like the mainstreaming comments, as I have already pursued several private schools in NJ (we have some good one here and she is on the list for Alpine Learning Group which is mentioned in Catherine Maurice's Let Me Hear Your Voice) but I am thinking my school district is going to take one look at my daughter and pass on giving me the funds as they will probably cite her "too high functioning". What a double edged sword. Anyway, I have a little over a year to figure this out, I am all for mainstreaming if she could handle it.

In my son's first grade year he was completely mainstreamed with an aide. The class size was huge, so we moved him for second grade to a program where he was partially mainstreamed and partially in the Special Ed room in a program for autistic kids. Well, that was a mess but only because Oklahoma City Public Schools was running it. Partial mainstreaming could have worked very well. The idea was that he was supposed to do most of his work with his regular class, but have the special ed room to retreat to when he was overstimulated. What actually happened was that the special ed room was there when the TEACHER got overstimulated. And the special ed teacher had only one aide of the four she was supposed to have, and some of those kids were BIG and not potty trained. Many of them nonverbal, most lowfunctioning--and my son was sent there to be babysat way too much. But if he hadn't taken such a spurt in developmental ability about then, we would still probably be dependant on OKC for his education. As it is, we pay $575/month tuition for three kids, grades 6, 3, and 1, and count it a REAL bargain.

You can have an IEP written to serve your son's needs. Funding isn't something they can cite as a reason not to give him what he needs. They are required to give him a free, appropriate public education, including summer programs if that's what he needs. If you don't like what's in the IEP you don't have to sign it, and you can demand that they change it--if they won't, demand a due process hearing, and you can bring a lawyer or anyone you want to any of these meetings, including doctors etc who can support your statements about what he needs. They are not allowed to reject a kid unless they can prove he does not fit one of the diagnostic criterias. If he's autistic, he fits, if he's visually or hearing impaired he fits, etc.

If you're not satisfied with your son's current IEP you can request another meeting and they have to do it. They can keep writing IEPs till they get something that will do what your son needs.

There is probably a local organization that can recommend help with forming the IEP goals and resources your son needs. If you're trying to get them to pay private tuition for him, you will run into many, many stone walls. We didn't even try that. We're paying it ourselves for many reasons.

Hope this helps. You have to be a panther-parent, which is hard for some of us who have more reserved natures. Sometimes they want meek little parents who will rubberstamp their programs, and sit back and tolerate the programs not even being implemented right.

but I am thinking my school district is going to take one look at my daughter and pass on giving me the funds as they will probably cite her "too high functioning".

I'll bet they will too. It may turn out to be the best thing for her. A year ago I wouldn't have believed my grandson could have handled the stress from the socialization, but now I have a gut feeling he will thrive. He really responds now to the challenges of dealing with other kids.

They grow and change so much, and so quickly.