[the gillman@blacklagoon.com]

Employers are using search dogs to scour the vast darkened cube villages in hopes of finding reclusive, holdout employees to lay off.

"We may have to open up the H1B visa quotas if we hope to maintain this pace." A company spokesman said, upon condition of anonymity. "Without an influx of skilled foreigners, we'll never make our layoff quotas for this quarter. We're simply running out of people to lay off."

[lelio]

You think that's bad? ATT's going to layoff 120% of its employees!

From there, said Armstrong, "it didn't take a genius to figure out that if we cut 40 percent of our workforce, we'd save $2.4 billion, and if we cut 100 percent of our workforce, we'd save $6 billion. But then we thought, why stop there? Let's cut another 20 percent and save $7 billion.