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The USS Constitution (Humor)

Posted on 08/31/2003 6:44:39 PM PDT by annyokie

The U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides) as a combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water distillers!). However, let it be noted that according to her log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."

Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping." Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchantships, salvaging only the rum aboard each. By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.

The U.S.S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February, 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whisky and 38,600 gallons of stagnant water.

GO NAVY!


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Government
KEYWORDS: ussconstitution
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No offense Navy! Gimme those Army jokes!

Happy Holiday Weekend, ya'll!

1 posted on 08/31/2003 6:44:39 PM PDT by annyokie
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To: annyokie
>>of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn

Wohoooo! I'll drink to that!
2 posted on 08/31/2003 6:47:13 PM PDT by 1stFreedom
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To: annyokie
LOL! Nearly twice as much rum than fresh water... Colonial America was full of drunks.
3 posted on 08/31/2003 6:47:25 PM PDT by Lunatic Fringe (This tag line has been intentionally left blank.)
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To: annyokie
This was one of my Grandfather's favorite stories! He'd read it to us every Thanksgiving and Christmas, and laugh like hell. (This, after a few martinis, mind you.)

A classic. Thanks for sharing it!
4 posted on 08/31/2003 6:58:08 PM PDT by nicollo
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To: annyokie
The to and fro course of the ship wasn't due to tacking into the wind. They just couldn't sail a straight line.
5 posted on 08/31/2003 6:58:16 PM PDT by tlb
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To: annyokie
The to and fro course of the ship wasn't due to tacking into the wind. They just couldn't sail a straight line.
6 posted on 08/31/2003 6:58:54 PM PDT by tlb
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To: annyokie
This was one of my Grandfather's favorite stories! He'd read it to us every Thanksgiving and Christmas, and laugh like hell. (This, after a few martinis, mind you.)

A classic. Thanks for sharing it!
7 posted on 08/31/2003 6:59:07 PM PDT by nicollo
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To: annyokie
Sounds like Wednesday Night at the Races off Grosse Ile, Michigan. LOL. Some 'barley pops', too.
8 posted on 08/31/2003 7:00:33 PM PDT by jws3sticks ((Hillary can take a long walk on a short pier, anytime, the sooner the better!))
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To: nicollo
You're very welcome!
9 posted on 08/31/2003 7:01:59 PM PDT by annyokie (One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.)
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To: annyokie
Thanks, great story , haha..
10 posted on 08/31/2003 7:07:37 PM PDT by The Mayor (God uses ordinary people to carry out his extraordinary plan. I am willing Lord, use me!)
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub; Kathy in Alaska
you'll like this!
11 posted on 08/31/2003 7:08:46 PM PDT by The Mayor (God uses ordinary people to carry out his extraordinary plan. I am willing Lord, use me!)
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To: annyokie
What crap. We were not fighting the British then and would not for 14 more years. Add to that how little water these guys are said to be drinking and the amount of rum all in Carribean waters and it doesn't add up.
12 posted on 08/31/2003 7:08:50 PM PDT by HoustonCurmudgeon (PEACE - Through Superior Firepower)
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To: annyokie
Being an old swab, at first I took this story at face value, but then decided I had to run the numbers!

Even with only the first load of 79,400 gallons of rum, and 475 officers and men, that is 167 gallons per man. They were gone about seven months for 24 gallons of rum per man per month. With thirty day months this is about three quarts and six fluid ounces per day per man. This is a lot of booze even for a Navy man! Especially kept up every day for seven months! And doesn't include all the other booze!

The average enlisted swab hardly ever drinks more than two quarts of booze a day! More is excessive! Story isn't true!

Wait! I know why the numbers don't come out! The OFFICERS drank all of that booze over two quarts per man! Of course! Case closed!

13 posted on 08/31/2003 7:15:07 PM PDT by Iris7 ("..the Eternal Thompson Gunner.." - Zevon)
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To: HoustonCurmudgeon
It's a STORY! Were you there? Lighten up, already.
14 posted on 08/31/2003 7:15:57 PM PDT by annyokie (One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.)
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To: annyokie

A finer boat has never floated.

15 posted on 08/31/2003 7:17:31 PM PDT by facedown (Armed in the Heartland)
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To: Iris7
Personal experience, eh, Cap't? ; )
16 posted on 08/31/2003 7:18:20 PM PDT by annyokie (One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.)
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To: annyokie
It's a STORY! Were you there? Lighten up, already.

It would be a better story if it had ANY bases in fact... and yes I was there.

17 posted on 08/31/2003 7:19:09 PM PDT by HoustonCurmudgeon (PEACE - Through Superior Firepower)
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To: facedown
Very nice! Thanks!
18 posted on 08/31/2003 7:19:54 PM PDT by annyokie (One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.)
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To: HoustonCurmudgeon
Curmudgeon Award for you, indeed!

So, WHO drank all the booze, me friend? : )
19 posted on 08/31/2003 7:21:09 PM PDT by annyokie (One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.)
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To: annyokie
So, WHO drank all the booze, me friend? : )

My vote is for the guy who made up the story! ;-)

20 posted on 08/31/2003 7:22:40 PM PDT by HoustonCurmudgeon (PEACE - Through Superior Firepower)
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