It depends on the meaning of the word "lap" dances. "Lap" as in the area covered by joggers, or "lap" as in the "lap" on top of your legs, or are you refering to "lap" top computers? Please, be more specific. You're blurring the issue.
When saying "back", did you mean "back" as in the "back" that has been here before, or the "back" that means this year? How far back are you willing to take this issue? Why regress to times gone by. We all need to start looking tward the future, for the sake of childrens education and health care for the elderly.
While we're on the subject of strippers...
Sorry, a little cinematic esotericism that sprang to mind
Or "I want to 'lap' that there whipped cream right from between your..."
I think we all can fill in our own disgusting, vile, depraved thoughts from there on. ;-)