Lizard Spit Drug Controls Diabetes, Cuts Weight

Reuters ^ | 08/25/03

[dirtboy]

Great. If I ever get diabetes, I'll keep a Gila monster around and have it bite me on the leg periodically.

[billb]

Didn't Sharon Stone try to off her husband this way?

[general_re]

I seem to recall that in order to deploy their venom, they have to kind of chew rather than just bite. You might just want to leave it attached permanently...

[dirtboy]

I seem to recall that in order to deploy their venom, they have to kind of chew rather than just bite. You might just want to leave it attached permanently...

I could just hang one off an earlobe, wouldn't be any stranger than what some of the kids are wearing nowadays.

[templar]

I'll keep a Gila monster around and have it bite me on the leg periodically.

That will most certainly result in rapid weight loss.

[general_re]

"Hey, is that a lizard in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

[dirtboy]

Here's my fashion accessory:

[LurkedLongEnough]

How do they get the spit out of the lizards?

[tomakaze]

RE:Lizard Spit Drug Controls Diabetes, Cuts Weight
 
So does a low-carb diet (lizard spit optional lol)

[general_re]

"Sorry, I have to pass on dessert - I left my lizard at home..."

[dirtboy]

So does a low-carb diet (lizard spit optional lol)

Instead of using syrup on your pancakes, just have a lizard drool on them.

[dirtboy]

"Sorry, I have to pass on dessert - I left my lizard at home..."

Pretty soon we'll have B.B. King affixing a Gila monster to his arm in television commercials.

[dirtboy]

How do they get the spit out of the lizards?

Show the males a picture of Helen Thomas - Gila monsters are the only animals to find her attractive.

[Alex Murphy]

Actually, I think you're required to french-kiss the lizard within a half-hour of each meal for it to be effective. If you don't stop eating out of revulsion (hence the weight-loss) your blood sugar will drop as it bites your lip and it's venom starts to flow into your bloodstream.

Seriously, how do researchers come up with this stuff? Was someone in the uber-secret Arizona lab staring, bored out of his/her skull, staring out of the window one day - spots a roaming gila monster, and decides "hey, I've got nothing better to do. I'll grab that lizard, let it drool into my mouth, and use my government grant money to pay for research into what it does to me?" Waddya wanna bet he was expecting to find another free psychotropic drug source, i.e. toad-licking?

[tomakaze]

re:Instead of using syrup on your pancakes, just have a lizard drool on them.
 
Now *that's* a photoshop waiting to happen.
Aunt Jeguana's Syrup lol.

[LaraCroft]

What? Diet and Exersize? What kind of radical fringe nut are you?

Thats work! I want a pill!

[Constitution Day]

Lizard Lick, NC

[general_re]

Will he name his lizard "Lucille"?

What about Wilford Brimley? He could tie his Quaker Oats commercials together with his diabetes commercials. "Lizard spit - it's the right thing to do."

[bethelgrad]

"How do they get the spit out of the lizards?"


By showing them pics of naked lady lizards