I got no kiddos. But, HE11, I treat my dog better than this!
Posted on 08/25/2003 1:36:35 PM PDT by bedolido
I got no kiddos. But, HE11, I treat my dog better than this!
Oooohhh .. that'll make 'em sit up and take notice.
Now that's ridiculous. Is he saying that people who frequently enter a hot, stuffy car on a summer day and try to sit on its sizzling seats can't figure out that it's not a good idea to leave kids in it? Yeah right.
Fennell suggested placing reminders in the car, such as a bag of diapers in the front seat or a purse or briefcase in the back with the child. "Put something that you have to have today in the back seat, where it's going to force to you check the back seat. Eventually, it becomes a habit," she said.
Are we that far gone as a society, that we remember our purse or briefcase and not our babies? We need to strategically place inanimate objects to remind us of our children? Again our standards for human responsibility are just a bit low.
So that 'wouldn't' be the child?
LOL!! What would we ever do without "experts"?
EXPERT : EX is a has-been. SPERT is a drip under pressure.
You aren't a forgetful person, are you? People who have no trouble remembering things simply don't understand that memory works differently for different people. I can remember all sorts of details about things going back to when I was in my crib -- provided that I have some cue to remind me of what it is that I have to remember. Some people simply remember things spontaneously. I don't. I need a reminder. Once I have a reminder, I can often remember all of the details.
It is entirely possible, for example, for me to be thinking about my wife but to forget that I was supposed to call my wife and tell her something or that she asked me to stop at a store and buy her something because thinking about my wife didn't remind me of my need to go buy something. Several times in a row, when we were dating, she'd hand me some mail to mail at a post office that I had to pass while going home. Every single time, I'd get home, notice the mail on the seat, and then drive back to the post office and mail it. Even if I was thinking about my now-wife the whole drive home. Even if I left her thinking that I absolutely have to remember to drop off the mail. And I'm talking about a 10 minute drive here. I've also run out of gas a few times, have forgotten to eat dinner, forgotten to take my cell phone, and forgetten all sorts of other things.
It is entirely possible that these parents are thinking about their children, even as they forget about them and leave them in the car. They may be thinking that they already dropped them off in day care and may be thinking about picking them up or about something else and those thoughts simply don't trigger the person to remember that the child is in the back seat. Why? Because they don't expect the child to be there. This is why these accidents often happen after a change in routine (the parent doesn't remember that they aren't following their routine). It isn't so much that the parents aren't thinking about their child but they are assuming that their child is someplace else.
How can people forget such things? Because they think differently than you do. All people don't think the same way. There are plenty of things I find easy but other people don't. My wife does spontaneously remember things but she doesn't always remember the details of things that happened or books that she has read years ago like I can. Our memories have different strengths and weaknesses and we compliment each other because of that.
For forgetful people, putting your briefcase in the back seat is a good idea (I suggested the same thing myself in an earlier thread), not because a parent thinks more highly of their briefcase than their child but because carrying their briefcase is a part of their morning routine and having to get it from next to the child makes it difficult for them to miss the child sitting silently in the back seat if they forget to drop them off. It makes checking for the child an unavoidable part of their routine. Of course I'd agree that parents should make checking the car for a baby a part of their routine but that doesn't always happen.
I leave myself all sorts of reminders (I put tissues in front of the clock on my car to remind me to get gas when I notice I'm low, I put things in the way of my routine so I'll remember them, etc. For forgetful people, reminders are good. If you don't need them, you won't understand, but it has nothing to do with how much you care. I don't forget my wife but I often forget to do things for her. They are not the same thign. Trust me, I often hurt myself more than anyone else when I forget things and wish I didn't need reminders.
For living things like my cats, I double check and count (we have 5 cats -- and 4 more kittens at the moment) and I've noticed cats missing more quickly than my wife has because of my counts. I make thinking about where they are a part of my routine because I know they might die if they get in trouble. And I'll need to do that if my wife and I have children. But I'll also consider a tether, a beeping box, and alarm, or some other reminder, as well not because I expect to consider my child forgettable but because I don't trust my memory, even with things I do care about. You may think that's awful but it is less awful then forgetting a child in a car and I'm more interested in the lives of children that your approval of people's priorities.
People who don't have trouble with their own memory often find it difficult to imagine how other people could have trouble remembering things. People think differently but many people don't grasp that. They imagine what it would take for them to forget their child in the back seat and can only imagine willful neglect, because that is what it would take for them to forget. They can't imagine what it is like to easily forget to do things.
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