But once you've shown you "understand" they will go back to the mean guy for more abuse.
I often wonder if that's why the scripture says submit to you husband. Apparently he is wiser on how to work within the world. (I'm not saying be a door mat, but seek advice from your man on how to handle your day to day situations.)
True. There was a good movie,"The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover." In the movie, the woman was cheating on the psycho with a nice guy. That just isn't the way it usually happens! Women much more commonly cheat on nice guys with jerks than the other way around.
I often wonder if that's why the scripture says submit to you husband
I notice in Genesis that God doesn't just command her to be that way, but actually makes it so that her thoughts are ever of her husband. It would seem to imply that maybe there is something in how a woman thinks of her man that lead her to, or at least fails to prevent her from engaging in, abusive behaviors like cheating, bad-mouthing, etc...
What I am driving at is that a man might need to be sure that he fits a paradigm which will inspire loyalty and respect when his woman thinks about him. If you're too "trusting" "forgiving" etc..., you might inspire thoughts of what-all she could "get away with." Too magnanamous or deferent could subconciously suggest abusive willfulness or contrariness to her.