Once-prosperous family struggling on the edge

The Dallas Morning News ^ | Aug. 18, 2003 | SHERRY JACOBSON

[new cruelty]

No problem. I'm not asking you to have sympathy. I was just wondering where you read she was homeless and was curious if you had even read the article before posting.

[John Lenin]

I read the article and I still say she is where she is at because she refuses to take a job that pays less than her last one.

[new cruelty]

Thanks for your comments.

For her part, Wessenberg works one day a week doing payroll records for a local company and spends most of her time taking care of 3-year-old Alex, who suffers from autism, and his 6-year-old sister, Amy.

[Iwo Jima]

I don't know where you live but I'm pretty certain that no single person is eligible for food stamps in Texas. I don't know if this family was eligible for food stamps or not, but Texas is about as strict as they come. I rather doubt that there is a homeless shelter in Coppell, although I would think that there would be church programs available.

[WOSG]

"It is not fair to criticize this family because they once lived a nice lifestyle on a six-figure income. Show me a family living like monks on that kind of salary."

Our family! I have a six figure salary and we've tried to keep our family expenses under $50,000. I even had a very good year investment-wise 2 years back (another $200k) and it did not change our spending habits.

Our house is paid off. we only pay cash for things. bank and investment accounts are growing.

During our vacaion this month we drove, spend about $2k for 2 week vacation, and watched. we tried not to eat out too much, but enjoyed homemade meals and PB&J for some of the trip.
Cooking for yourself always cheaper than eating out for the same quality.

I think it is a bit fair to point the misery that comes of living "on the edge" of financial instability.
Saving for a rainy day should be considered a virtue. Plenty of lower-wage earners have to deal with tight circumstances *all the time*.

and yes, it is tough for older workers ... my Dad is 75 and doesnt want to retire!!

[WOSG]

"It is not fair to criticize this family because they once lived a nice lifestyle on a six-figure income. Show me a family living like monks on that kind of salary."

Our family! I have a six figure salary and we've tried to keep our family expenses under $50,000. I even had a very good year investment-wise 2 years back (another $200k) and it did not change our spending habits.

Our house is paid off. we only pay cash for things. bank and investment accounts are growing.

During our vacaion this month we drove, spend about $2k for 2 week vacation, and watched. we tried not to eat out too much, but enjoyed homemade meals and PB&J for some of the trip.
Cooking for yourself always cheaper than eating out for the same quality.

I think it is a bit fair to point the misery that comes of living "on the edge" of financial instability.
Saving for a rainy day should be considered a virtue. Plenty of lower-wage earners have to deal with tight circumstances *all the time*.

and yes, it is tough for older workers ... my Dad is 75 and doesnt want to retire!!

[hopespringseternal]

The mother has breast cancer FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and will likely die within the year.

I always wondered how people could be so naive. I realize now that poor reading comprehension is a contributing factor:

A Canadian company offered free chemo drugs if Sheila Wessenberg needs to take them again.

...

She was alive and healthy in June - the month she could have died had her doctor's 18-month survival prediction come true.

...

"All the blood work came back normal," Wessenberg says. "But one of the scans found a spot on my lung and my liver. The doctor couldn't say if it was cancer, but I'll go back for another scan in September. We're hoping it doesn't mean anything."

The article's main point is that these people went from a 6-figure income and luxury lifestyle to begging on the streetcorner for money to buy groceries and no medical care.

But the facts presented in the same story are incongruous. First, they own a house. Second, she has gotten all the free medical care she apparently needed, as she looks to be cancer-free pending further tests, which she is getting. Third, she is buying coffee with the money given to her.

Do you want to know the real story? The husband lost a nice job, she got sick. She had to stop taking chemotherapy at some point, but apparently managed to get the medical care she needed. They had to move to a cheaper house (but could afford to). The husband has been doing temporary work here and there waiting for another great job to come along.

How exactly does begging for money to buy coffee come into this story? It just doesn't fit. It sounds like a setup so liberal writers have meat for a story.

[UncleDudley]

They bought a house a year ago? They aren't too bad off.

Qualifications seem to be pretty low these days for home ownership. Any bankrupt grasshopper can buy one. The Feds will see to that.

[Ditter]

I wonder how many are fakes too.
There is a man I see under the west loop at Memorial Dr. in Houston that has a neatly trimed beard, a laundry starched shirt & is carring a bed role (never used) that looks like it came from Orvis. I forget what his sign says but I have often wanted to follow him home. I'll bet his wife picks him up.

[N3WBI3]

Please expand I dont know that one..

[Iwo Jima]

I don't know what the City of Orlando has done or why, but I know for a fact that only emergency care is mandatory, and that oncology treatment is not an emergency. LOTS of people get turned away all the time. There are lawsuits about it, but the only issue is was it an emergency situation, because that is the only thing that a hospital is required to provide.

There may be some state-run hospitals which are required to take all comers, but I doubt that there is a charity hospital in Coppell. And, anyway, it does not appear that this woman needed to be hospitalized, she just needed out-patient care.

[WOSG]

" Nonsense. Plenty of people manage their income "conservatively" at that level. Nobody writes about them, though. "

Thanks for making the point PERFECTLY.

I mentioned what we've done: low-6 figure salary (under $150k/yr), yet living on $40,000 expenses/yr or so; able to pay off mortgage in 9 years stayed in house we can easily afford not just the biggest mansion out budget could scrape by on; building up investment and using investments to grow wealth (actually net assets of $1million aka 'the millionaire next door').

You can do a LOT of SAVING instead of SPENDING if you make over $100k/yr in a low-tax low-cost place, and even "high cost" places like NYC there is much you can do.

And if you do it, you can have financial security after aperiod of time, instead of the treadmill of consumerism.
I have yet to see a NYT reporter show up at my door.

[laconic]

I will check on this, but I don't believe state or federal aid to indigent patients is dependent upon there being a "charity" hospital in a particular city; I believe it is dependent upon the patient and not the hospital. In fact, I was unaware that "charity" hospitals still existed.

[Iwo Jima]

You are right, I did not consider that this family might be Jewish, and I do not know anything about Jewish charity. I only assume that it exists in pretty much the same form as the various Christian charities with which I am familiar.

One way or another, this woman needs help, and any pride which keeps her from asking some church or synagouge for help is a false pride which she needs to put behind her, if that is the problem.

[TheSpottedOwl]

I wanted to scroll through the thread before I replied. There are a lot of mean spirited, and just plain ignorant comments on this thread. First of all I'll guess that the husband lost his job either from outsourcing or an H1-B visa replacement. He probably thought he could land another job rather quickly due to his job skills. Ask middle aged workers who are displaced how much luck they're having finding anything. I mean anything. You could run a mainframe with one hand tied behind your back, but do you have cash register experience?

The wife has breast cancer. She went through chemo. Let me tell you chemo will knock you out. My dad died of cancer, my mom underwent a radical mastectomy. Granted my parents were older than this woman is, however she has the added burden of caring for an autistic child.

There's all kinds of programs available for these people! WRONG! They are an intact family. No goodies for them. Of course they could get divorced, then the woman and children could get assistance. Of course, the husband would have his pathetic paycheck garnished for child support.

They probably did save for a rainy day, but the day turned into 40 days and 40 nights. They liquidated all their savings while the man looked for work. Then they sold everything of value. Maybe they could move to New York. Understand that even in the best of times, when you and your children are healthy, it's stressful as hell. Imagine being sick and trying to do it. I was picturing her trying to manage an autistic 3 yr old on a subway or train. No thanks.

So many more comments I could make, but I agree that the truth probably was stretched here and there. That doesn't mean that the story in general isn't true. All it takes is one disaster, like a blown transmission even, and your finances are toast, you fall behind on the bills, and start to sweat. I won't bore you folks with how much fun the last year has been for me, but until you experience back to back disasters, you shouldn't judge people.

I truly hope things work out for this family.

[Publius6961]

When she ran into the nearby Tom Thumb to spend the money on potatoes, milk and coffee,...

I think I found this loser's problem.
Nice try though.

The coffee is a dead giveaway, and you forgot the pint of Jack Daniels.

[Iwo Jima]

It's one thing to be skeptical as to whether a particular story is true or not and quite another thing to take the facts as basically true and then gleefully argue that this woman who is dying of cancer got what she deserved and should resort to prostitution "if she's not too diseased."

You have said nothing like that, I know, but my remarks are prompted by those and similar remarks by others on this thread. It's cruel and most unbecoming.

[ChewedGum]

A friend of mine has watched a poor woman pan-handling for 5 years now. She rotates between four intersections. Her sign says "Homeless and pregnant". (Long gestational period I guess)

Gum

[Iwo Jima]

Well said. The over 50 part especially hits home.

[new cruelty]

TheSpottedOwl: I truly hope things work out for this family.

Publius6961: I think I found this loser's problem. Nice try though. The coffee is a dead giveaway, and you forgot the pint of Jack Daniels.

Two distinctive and thoughtful points of view. Thank you both for sharing.